I originally wasn't going to post this since I've already posted one of Uber's drunken ramblings, and I'm not a firm believer in capturing lighting in a bottle a second time.

Nevertheless, this still cracks me up. Uber does some of his best work when inebriated. To those who have no clue who or what Uber is, fear not ... most of the death threats are merely there for humorous purposes. I did at least edit out some of the more "colorful" parts since this site is now getting a little more foot traffic than in days past, so while this post has been edited for cleanliness, the older one remains in its ever-so-vulgar state. So be forewarned.

Enjoy the read ... I know I am.

Welllll, time hass come to type another rant. And Mr. Guinnness and Mr. Merlot (Ohehehe) have helped lubricate my words. First of alll: You people make me sick! I hate every one of you. I wish you would die die die die die. Please just let me be. I am not UBER! I AMJAMES Second Of all: I love you guys THirdly: Scotch is good D: I am tired of not getting da ***** at the show. One of you ******s must like me enough to get down and dirty at the back of the theater. all you haafve to do is askk. I lik the **** with the best of them! 5) Why the hate towards John? Oh yeah, he's pretnetious *****e who has no clue and will burn rodents near highway when older. 6: Kayla => GET OVER HIM. See #5 as to why he's a ****ing lOOOSER &: I like me drinks 9: zeither like the cast or don't like the cast! don't be in the cast and badmouth it. i love you guys. you people are my bestest friends. every one o you. 10: ARrrrgh, maties! I'm a pirate. 11: Accordingt to "kissing jessica stein", all lesbians are funny. Hahahahaha. 12:? I wish I had some cake right now. I guess marshmallow puffs will do 13( I'm buying a house! I have a year to do it in! woohoo, you're all invited to my housewarming party. Or wqhatever 145`: Whatever happened to movi night? 666: Gremlins 2 is funny 1776: I'll be @ River Oakes tomorrow to see "Big Lebowski" Steve Buscimi rocks. i am the walrus 1977: Why no booty? I think i iterated this one already. JUst come up and say "Uber EAT ME" and if you're an innie and not an outie I"M THERE! 2002; SCOtch gone. caps lock sucks. Off to lounge on couch until Berman & Berman comes on. 2007: I die 2009: someone notices 2012: Rocky finally dies in hyouston. Ther ya go