'666' On 'Passion' Tickets Causes Stir
Before I go into this comedic episode, I feel its worth noting how well the movie did in sparking debate and conversation over any number of aspects of religion. That said, while reading this article, I was reminded of a conversation overheard by two assclowns in the theater while I took the movie in (names changed to protect the hedonistic):
SCENE: Inside the movie theater, seated about halfway up, two merry souls eagerly await the upcoming film while bracing themselves for the endless stream of movie trailers depicting upcoming films.
GW: I hope they show the preview for Kill Bill.
JY: I want to see the preview of that new dinosaur movie.
I swear ... we were the only two to get that exchange. Sad, really.
ADD-ON: This article on a Gibson interview is, even still sadly, in the same realm. I've not spent too much time poring over much of the contraversial elements surrounding the film's release ... whether or not the Pope thought the movie authentic or not ... whether Mel's dad is an anti-Semetic crank ... its all a sideshow as far as I'm concerned. But this one ....
Gibson, interviewed by the Herald Sun in Australia, was asked if Protestants are denied eternal salvation. "There is no salvation for those outside the (Catholic) church," Gibson replied. "I believe it."
... takes the cake. Curious, in case anyone knows from whence this bit of dogma comes from: When did this rule pop up? Anyone???
6 Comments
I TRIED to get it to print "333" (the number of J.R. "Bob" Dobbs) but Windows screwed up the script...
You know, there's a thing called the internet...
Re: the "bit of dogma" comment - - -
Er… what ho? How now? I’ve not been paying attention, it would seem. Seems instead that you intend to start some sort of religious argument! For shame, sir! – since it seems THAT YOU are the most in need of religion of all.
But not that old time variety for you, no. You’re far to nihilistic for that. Wouldn’t be able to handle high-order religious abstraction or philosophic profundity. Not to worry, though: introducing the
CHURCH OF THE HOLY FUCK MONSTER
Welcome, seeker! Intone these, your commandments –
1. Worship the graven pre-1970 images of Ann-Margaret and Raquel Welch.
2. Locate at least 5 modern sirens of stage or screen that compare well and worship those, too (Anniston or Charisma Carpenter would be a start).
3. Use the graven images as rough gauges as to what to look for locally.
4. Reach the gutwrenching conclusion that finding a local ringer for Anniston is going to be pretty difficult – and that once you locate her, she may NOT be interested.
5. Intone “fuck it” and prepare thy ground for the mark ANYWAY, since a crapped-out bachelor pad isn’t good bait. Fix up the place a la GQ or at least barren early Bauhaus. Exercise and get the weight into good order. Watch QUEER EYE FOR THE STRAIGHT TV SHOW and get some clothes. Wash up, get a haircut and stuff.
6. After you’ve done all that, examine your ENTIRE FREAKING WORLDVIEW. If it’s defeatist about romantic possibilities, get ANOTHER one and return to the domicile.
7. At the domicile, repeat intonements of the holy centricizing mantra:
FUCK her up the ASS
FUCK her up the ASS
FUCK her up the ASS
FUCK her up the ASS
FUCK her up the ASS
FUCK her up the ASS
FUCK her up the ASS
FUCK her up the ASS
FUCK her up the ASS
FUCK her up the ASS
FUCK her up the ASS
FUCK her up the ASS
8. Then try this one:
Glory to SHE of the BALLABLE WAZOO!!
Glory to SHE of the BALLABLE WAZOO!!
Glory to SHE of the BALLABLE WAZOO!!
Glory to SHE of the BALLABLE WAZOO!!
Glory to SHE of the BALLABLE WAZOO!!
Glory to SHE of the BALLABLE WAZOO!!
Glory to SHE of the BALLABLE WAZOO!!
Glory to SHE of the BALLABLE WAZOO!!
Glory to SHE of the BALLABLE WAZOO!!
Glory to SHE of the BALLABLE WAZOO!!
Glory to SHE of the BALLABLE WAZOO!!
Glory to SHE of the BALLABLE WAZOO!!
Glory to SHE of the BALLABLE WAZOO!!
Glory to SHE of the BALLABLE WAZOO!!
Glory to SHE of the BALLABLE WAZOO!!
Glory to SHE of the BALLABLE WAZOO!!
And so on.
9. Then join hobby societies, go to the library or a club or something and search for a mark. Now, assuming you’ve ditched the nihilistic outlook (the intellectual equivalent of bad breath in this dating context), gotten the personal appearance situation into order and cleaned the place up, you stand SOME chance of bending some likely candidate over and plowing her like a bean field.
What?
This isn’t good advice?
Hey, it’s better advice than you’ve gotten in the last 2 weeks from anyone on this board – not to mention anyone else in your ENTIRE LIFE. Where did I get it? I just made it up.
MORAL: Take what’s in front of you and do what you have to do.
You’re welcome,
Ralphieboy
In keeping with the "spirit" ... Oh lord ...
I cannot wait to see what becomes of this site when Google gets through spidering it, now. About all that can top this is another drunken UberPost.
There's always Reno.
Shut up, Fish. Now for sermon #2 in the HFM Canonical Enflabulence: one of your new sacraments is a film by the name of STARDUST MEMORIES, in which the Prophet Tony Roberts emits the Prime Directive -
"You set things up so you can get a little poon and smoke some good grass and that's what life's about."
Maybe not exactly poetic, but he's headed in a better direction than most of us today. See, in order to attract decent company, one needs to get one's house in order and become more decent oneself. Although history is full of slobs who DO do ok in the social area, it's probably because they look like Johnny Depp, temporarily distracting the chick until she throws up and can't stand it anymore. The rest of us have to prepare the ground. As Voltaire voltated, "we must cultivate our gardens".
Here endeth the lesson.