Let's start off with the most important element worth noting in this movie: Does Claudia Jennings have it going on, or what? But for mere fate of circumstance, this woman should have been giving Farrah Fawcett a run for her money back in the day. Instead, Fawcett gets a gig with Aaron Spelling, while Jennings hooks up with Roger Corman and the like. Just as well ... I don't recall Farrah giving us any nude shots in her TV work.

This one, however, starts with a subtle, but still gratuitous, breast shot of Claudia as she guides her boat through the swamps of Louisiana's cajun country. Aside from a few other cleavage shots and some excellent soft-porn shots of Claudia's legs and rear, the only other nudity we get is from her on-screen sister Julie (Janit Baldwin) bathing in the swamp. I don't recall whether or not there was nudity in her attempted rape scene, but its worth noting that the only penetration you see in that scene is FAR different from what you'd expect.

Aside from all this pointless entertainment, there's only hicksploitation to get you through the film. Imagine if you will ... Claudia making a getaway in the face of the town's sheriff, and the sheriff actually shaking a fist at her. It doesn't get more authentic than that. Pardon me while I flashback ...

Homer2: Get out here, son. There's a doin's a-transpiring! Let's shut the gate and seal them in! Bart: Gun it, Flanders! Ned: It won't start. Something's draining the battery. Homer: [using the oven] Sorry.

They drive toward the rapidly closing gate, barely scraping their way
out (they lose a bumper and a tire). Flanders moans, but Bart is
ecstatic.

Bart: We made it!
Everyone: Yay!
Homer: Woo hoo!
Bart: Eat my shorts, Shelbyville!
Bart+Homer: Eat my shorts!
Ned: Yes, eat _all_ of our shirts.
[Homer2 and Shelby shake their fists at them]
Homer2: Ooh, you lousy Springfielders, you -- shake harder, boy!

Yeah, it was a lot like that.

Summing up the movie, I'll say it wasn't half bad, and most of that was because, as stated, Claudia Jennings has it going on. The film just reeked of mid-70s drive in cinema, and that's a good thing for Weird Wednesday.

OK, now backtrack with me. As most WW afficianados are aware, the pre-movie offerings tend to be a bit out of the ordinary. This time around, we were offered up Bumfights. Here, I've got to admit something. I've got my limits, and Bumfights exceeds that. The premise is this ... run around with a video cam and offer homeless bums to do any number of weird acts, in some cases criminal. The people behind the movies have been arrested and charges have been laid (no homework yet done to indicate jail time served, though). Its pretty nauseating, and that's being kind.

Of particular insult to intelligence is the Bum Hunter series (no, its not gay porn), in which one of the offending types is seen immitating the Crocodile Hunter in tracking down bums by literally waking them in their sleep and in some cases wrestling them to the ground. The point being to dehumanize these people while mocking them. The only way I can sum it up is being morally pornographic. I'd personally be just as well if the Alamo not show them again, and I'm not one for moralizing sermons. I mean, after all, I was there to see Gator Bait.

The irony is in noting that somewhere, a line is crossed in the exploitation of others. The Blaxploitation and Hixploitation genres are well known, and some films are certainly better than others on a host of categories. Likewise, there's a wide audience that would just as soon have nothing to do with either of even these genres. But is there a moral equivalence to mocking big fat southern sheriffs in the manner that Gator Bait does and (to use one of the more borderline moments of BumFights), paying a bum whatever sum it took to get a huge tattoo of the word "BUMFIGHTS" on his forehead?

Regardless of where one stands on the place in society (and/or the Alamo) for this ... well, whatever it is ... "Schlock" is just too kitschy for it, "filth" perhaps a bit too judgemental for now (although I reserve the right to revisit this decision) ... one thing we can all agree on. There was nothing done by any party there to deserve witnessing the genitalia of the elderly body-tattooed crackhead on the streets.

Alas, there is a sequel to Gator Bait, picking up the story 10 years later. Read the IMDB reviews and skip viewing it.