Hey, why did we start this blog in the first place? Oh yeah ... to give full coverage of goat sex issues. With that in mind ...

A goat's eyes are so beautiful

Stop me when this story starts making sense:

Tanya Gold finds that love affairs with pets, as in the Edward Albee play, are not as unusual as you'd think

Six weeks ago, I went to a party at a policewoman's house. She works in the incident room at New Scotland Yard and, over a bucket of booze and a mountain of cigarettes, she talked of gun crime, drugs and the war on terror. Then she dropped a firework.

"We have a bestiality incident recorded every day, you know," she told me. "Every single day."

I went home stunned. Who are these people? Do they rape fish? Rabbits? Is it consensual? (Is it fun?)

I went to the Apollo Theatre on Shaftesbury Avenue in London to see Edward Albee's play The Goat. Jonathan Pryce, as Martin, an architect, declaimed his love for a goat named Sylvia. "Yes, I'm screwing her," he tells his wife. "I'm seeing her and we are having an affair. She is my first. She is my only." His wife cuts Sylvia's throat.

I tracked Albee down to his hotel. His play is not so much about bestiality as the prison of sexual convention, he says. But, he insists, many of his colleagues on the faculty at Houston University have had sex with animals. He asks me: "Have you ever looked into the eyes of a goat close up? They are very beautiful." No, I haven't. I don't like the smell. I like my animals dead on a plate with vegetables.

Albee pauses, then continues. "Bestiality happens with a greater degree of frequency than we are prepared to realise. Women usually do it with dogs and horses, and men do it with a wider variety - pigs, sheep and even geese."

The flickering flames you hear in the background are my degree from University of Houston being lit atorch. Sadly, there's even more in the story ... go read, then grab a barf bag.