Hell is going to Starbucks on an empty stomach because a) its attached to a Barnes & Noble and I need a new book and b) the Double Chocolate Chip Blended Creme concoction is essentially heaven from a blender (and filling enough to get me through to a real dinner).

Problem ensues when the barrista hands me my frozen bounty and after one sip, I discover that she's mistakenly made it with coffee flavor instead of just straight chocolate (like its supposed to be done). So why don't I just return to the counter and explain this predicament to her?

Because I'm a guy, that's why. Seems our lovely barrista had the loveliest smile and I could not do a damn thing to wipe it away from her in the slightest. She was hot (yet not in that intimidating "out of my league" way), she was upbeat and pleasant to be around from the second I passed the B&N/Starbucks gateway to the time I left.

I hate coffee. Despise it even. I managed to suck down a fraction of my Venti-sized drink before calling it a day, taking my literary finds to the counter and exiting ($36 poorer, no less). I still love that barrista (and the Double Chocolate Chip Blended Creme), so I'm letting this one slide. Next time, though ... I'm going to walk right back up to that counter, apologize for the inconvenience, preface my remarks way beyond coherence, and make up some lie about having to buy another drink for my imaginary friend ... but without the coffee flavoring. That'll teach her!