Well folks, I've come back from the dark hole in the ground that RalphieBoy lent me, so let's pick up with something I should have done a few months ago: the annual Summer Movie Preview. Let's kick off things with a few movies that are currently in theaters, and go from there:
Shrek 2 - Well, if you liked the first one, odds are you've already gone to see the sequel. If you didn't like the first one but have kids that did, expect to be dragged to see this sequel. It's more of the same from the animated crew from Dreamworks, and this feature has already blown past Finding Nemo as the highest grossing animated feature.
The Day After Tomorrow - Sadly, no George Kennedy in this one. Good for a few laughs, mostly at inappropriate places. What does Roland Emmerich have against NYC that makes him destroy it in so many of his movies?
Saved! - Contrasting opinions on this one. Jerry Falwell equates the movie to racial profiling. Personally, I found it entertaining, and actually saw a message in it that I've tried to follow most of my life.
Harry Potter & The Prisoner of Azkaban - If you like the series, you'll go see it regardless. One thing I have to say about it is that I enjoyed the change of directors. Alfonzo Cueron brought new life into what could be the turning point in the series. Some parents complained that the movie was darker than the other two. However, being a fan of the books, I must say that if the movies are to hold true to the books, they will get progressively darker. Hang on and enjoy the ride, the story shows the characters mature over time. And we all know puberty isn't all sunshine and daisies.
The Stepford Wives - Good in the sense that I didn't spontaneously combust during the film. Avoid at all costs. Just go watch the original and thank me later.
The Terminal - Wasn't utterly atrocious, but wasn't exactly a challenging movie either. I'm impressed that Spielburg didn't go the prescribed route with the interaction between Tom Hanks' character and Catherine Zeta-Jones' character. It's a good distraction on a rainy day (which we have had in spades lately).
Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story - This is the movie you go to when you've had a hard day and you really don't want to think anymore. It's a nice mindless distraction with a few funny jokes. Vince Vaughan just doesn't strike me as a comedic lead, though. And Ben Stiller should be ashamed of a lot of the crap he's put out in the last few years. However, with that being said, the supporting cast is actually pretty strong with Rip Torn, Stephen Root, Gary Cole and Jason Bateman coming through with the comedy muscle. On a side note, what is it with the revival of Jason Bateman? His recent comedic performances in this movie as well as Fox's overhyped and underrated sitcom Arrested Development make the memory of Teen Wolf Too start to fade.
And now, my upcoming film picks:
Fahrenheit 9/11 - And this is the point at which Ulysses Zweibel's head explodes. I'm still willing to take you up on your offer to go see "Michael Moore Hates America" once you go see this film. All you have to do is find a theater around here that's playing it. But as far as this movie goes, reports out of Cannes are that Moore has made himself less the central character in the movie in that he is on-camera far less than in previous engagements. Viewing this weekend, with what I'm sure to be an argument on this board following.
Spider-Man 2 - If you liked the first one, this looks to be more of the same. The good news is that the villian in this one, Doctor Octopus, doesn't look as horrible as the Green Goblin did in the first film. CGI shots galore, and as a bonus during the filming of this movie, nobody died! Sure to bank over the 4th of July weekend.
De-Lovely - I've heard many bad reviews about this film. I'm not particularly well-informed about Cole Porter's life, but I might be tempted to catch this film, if only because I have a 3-day weekend and movie gift cards to burn. Using modern-day musicians to do the singing is a twist to the modern musical revival. We shall see how it goes.
Anchorman - Will Ferrell is my comedy hero. Well on his way to becoming the comedic presence in Hollywood that Jim Carrey was in the mid to late 90s. He managed to get this script produced after Elf was such a smash hit last year. If it's half as funny as the trailer makes it out to be, this could do some big business for people looking to avoid action thrillers.
I, Robot - I'm wary of this thing. My gut tells me to not doubt Alex Proyas after his films The Crow and Dark City. But something about that trailer just gives me the heebie jeebies. Does anyone else think that Issac Asimov is spinning in his grave like a Ronco Rotissere Chicken from the trailer alone? Is there really a need for Will Smith to say "Oh Hell No" in all his movies? Arnie had his catchphrase, but it eventually got old and stupid. Let's put actor catchphrases to bed, and end this one once and for all.
The Bourne Supremacy - One film that came out of nowhere was The Bourne Identity. It didn't do blockbuster numbers at the theater, but sold and rented like crazy on DVD. Thus, the sequel has been made. After all, there's a whole series of books about Jason Bourne out there to draw from. This one has the looks of a simple mystery movie with a boatload of action scenes. In other words: more of the same.
Catwoman - Please, oh please shoot me now. Halle Berry is hot. Sharon Stone is old. Halle Berry wearing a stupid cat hat: retarded.
The Manchurian Candidate - Was this really necessary? Did they have to go and remake one of my favorite films? Was there a great need for it? Denzel Washington in Frank Sinatra's role? I don't know about that one. But Liev Schreiber hasn't steered me wrong yet. If I see this one, it will be because I have nothing better to do.
The Village - M. Night Shamalamadingdong comes out with another film. Let me guess: it has a twist at the ending. Stop trying to be the new Hitchcock and just be yourself. Your films are good, but just because your first movie succeeded as a twisting thriller doesn't mean you should stick with it forever. I say you should go direct a slapstick next time. Just to try something different.
Thunderbirds - From the trailer, I think Bill Paxton's acting might be as wooden as the original source material. And who had pictures of Ben Kingsley being intimate in a goat? That's the only think I could imagine would cause him to be in this film.
Garden State - One of my guilty TV pleasures the last few seasons has been the comedy Scrubs. Well, the lead on that show (Zach Braff) has written and directed a movie that took Sundance by storm. There's no keeping me from this one, as it could be the little indie movie that could for the year. And no, I don't count The Passion or Fahrenheit 9/11 as indie movies anymore. Once you get an initial release in over 1,000 theaters, you cease to be a 'little indy movie'.
Collateral - Tom Cruise is a bad guy. With white hair. Sorry Tom, but I just don't care about you as an actor anymore.
Alien vs Predator - And here we go with more "versus" movies. With the success of Freddy vs Jason last year (2 weeks of winning the box office draw is a success for a horror movie), more versus movies are on the horizon. However, without Jesse Ventura, Carl Weathers, Arnie or Sigourney, how good will this be? Survey says: not very good at all.
The Princess Diaries 2 - Stop laughing. I read the books and liked the first movie. Sure, it's trite. But dammit, I enjoyed the film and it brings back good memories. Stop taking things away from me!
Seed Of Chucky - 5 Chucky movies? Get ready for Freddy vs Jason vs Michael vs Chucky vs Pinhead vs that floating orb from Phantasm vs Candyman vs the robots from Chopping Mall.
Alexander - Colin Farrell as Alexander the Great. Oliver Stone directing an epic historical drama? Get outta town! I've seen worse ideas for a movie. Let's see how badly Ollie screws this up.
The Incredibles - I don't care what you say, Pixar is gold and if Disney lets them walk then Eisner is out on his ass. The only non-Pixar Disney released animated movie to come out in the last few years that had an impact was Lilo & Stitch, and I'm convinced those animators were on brown acid. But this latest outing from Pixar could just help seal the deal between the little animation studio that could and it's new business partner, whomever that may be.
Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events - Let's just call this one the Jim Carrey show and be done with it. Carrey plays a number of roles in this one, and will undoubtedly ham it up in every role. A sure bet for the Christmas season.
1 Comments
F9/11: I smell a backfire brewing here. Moore will tell jokes funny to himself and will expand the fund of those who agree by a percentage of exactly zero.
Day After The Day After: will hit the $ cinema when it gets there.
Anchorman: seems like an attempt to rip of Groove Tube. Probably will pass; might catch it free when I get cable.
Thunderbirds: I AM THERE. Original source wooden? Perhaps lacking pathos or bug-eyed reactions, yes...
Manchurian Candidate: agree. Already own the original; this one free on cable MAYBE.
I Robot: probably agree; wish Will would just come up with another character (and hope he read the book; It's been years but at least I did).
Oh, and UUBER: so I put you up here
and all you can do is complain about lack of indoor plumbing??