He Can Play Guitar, but Can He Grimace?

A fascinating expose in today's NY Times on the hunt for the next big thing in terms of Guitar God O-faces. Its long been a point of contention as to whether such facial expressions by rock guitarists were staged or genuine. I'm not sure how anyone can watch B.B. King or Stevie Ray Vaughn perform and consider them universally fake. But obviously, the 80s brought this fashion to the forefront, with Eddie Van Halen ringing in a large population of wannabes and pretenders.

Now, in this modern era, we have the ultimate authority to determine the next generation of guitar faces: Twisted Sister guitarist, JJ French. Also on the judges panel is legendary heavy metal photog Mark Weiss, just in case. Dick Dale and Roger McGuinn serve as judges for reasons yet to be determined.

To the extent it helps, I offer the proper points of comparison ....

Somewhat related on this note is the inspiration that this Houston Press article brings forth. Unbeknownst to me, the cost of booking Cardi's Nightclub has come down considerably since those halcyon days of seeing heavy metal acts on the way up and down (Mr. Big on the way up, Quiet Riot on the way down, local legends Midnight Circus on the way to nowhere.) Here's the gambit: If I plan a midlife crisis right around my birthday in November, I think I can swing it such that:

a) I dust off my old guitar skills well enough to play a few songs
b) I con enough people into rounding out the band and/or loaning some equipment (I'm down to a practice amp myself)
c) We put on the baddest show in the land for one night.

Early ruminations on this thought are such that Ulysses has ID'ed a great female vocalist. I'm favorable to a mix of Bonnie Tyler (70s version), forgotten rocker Saraya, an obligatory Pat Benatar tune, as well as one from Joan Jett, and some other tunes that might translate from the original male recordings. There's some time to put this idea together (or to rest), so we'll see what comes of it.