Random Outtakes From a Hectic Life

  • Jeebus! One silly little aside about an American Idol hottie, and a blog gets catcalls to be taken down henceforth. Did I miss the big Shove a Stick Up My Ass Festival? Dude, she's hot, she's blonde, she's the girl next door, only significantly hotter and with vocal pipes that can at least allow you to daydream about never having to work again if you're lucky enough to get with that. What? Am I the only one that sees things this way?

  • Holy Hell! Rosie O'Donnell is blogging now? Well, on the plus side, I finally have a good outlet for reading poetry by 40-something lesbian former talk show hosts. What ... since when did I ever need a freakin outlet for that?

  • Salvation! With the Presidential election light years behind us, the New York Times finally turns to one of the two greatest topics known to mankind: middle-aged comics who suddenly find themselves at the top of their game after decades trying to break into theater. Yeah, Lewis Black rocks and for you yokels who don't believe in registering for the NY Times site due to a) ideological issues or b) technological issues or c) you have no stinkin' clue what the New York Times is ... finally, you all have newfound reason. Proceed henceforth.

  • So what's the other major, pressing issue of our time? I think I speak for dozens when I emphatically state: cartoons! Yes, the New York Times has been dialing the cable channels and now lands on the Cartoon Network's Adult Swim series of toonage. Seriously, does anything think this sort of quality coverage exists in National Review?

    Anyways, I've been a fan of this series since once more joining the cable class. Frequent viewings of Family Guy and Futurama were easy enough to adapt to. I was a slower convert to Aqua Teen Hunger Force ... took me a while to realize it was the Thee Stooges ... only the characters were rotated and replaced with a Milk Shake cup (yes, I said cup) as the leader (as if played by Curly); a medium container of fries (yes, I said fries) as the second in charge (as if played by Moe), and a silly little wad of meat as the third wheel (as if played by Larry). Shake cracks me up. Tell anyone and I'll cut ya.

    But this Robot Chicken thing ... sorry, it fails to impress. Watch it once and the schtick is old. Cute, but old. Basically, it's stop action comedy with action figures playing out some seriously whacked out scenes. I'll admit to dying of laughter at their spinoff of That 70s Show in which the characters referenced blogging and text messaging. With skits like that, I don't doubt the writing talent, just the medium. I mean, I'm sure That 80s Show had some decent talent behind it as well, right? But the shame of it all was that it paled by comparison to the original concept.

  • One other little guilty pleasure noted via cable ... Good Burger, the movie ... not really all that bad. There, I said it.

  • Hey, remember that 3rd wave metal outfit Saigon Kick? Yeah, I didn't think so. Funny story, though. They had this really awesome hit ballad: "Love Is On The Way" ... seriously incredible harmonies driven by a perfectionist guitar player/singer who dug overdubs more than Queen's Brian May. Well, right as the band hit the bigtime, the singer left. Well guess what ... karma kicks ass and Matt Kramer does the 20Q with Metal Sludge. Shortly afterwards, the aforementioned egomaniacal guitar player responds. I caught the band somewhere in their downward post-Kramer spiral. I still haven't a clue what the hell the guitar player was thinking when he took over the band. They did some weird-ass albums that just left heavy metal in the ditch and went ... well ... nowhere. Still, the interviews are hilarious ...

    Matt: You mean that slimy wanna be Prince/Sting egomaniac sack of shit ex band mate of mine. The fact that I called him a friend uhrggg. It just shows how low that cocksucker really is. Anyone that enjoys seeing his friends starve for no reason, because of his greed, lies and manipulating ego driven games, man they must be in a really bad place themselves, I wasn’t watching out for my friend to fuck me, that’s why he got away with so much. I always heard about the sharks in this business, but between him our manager. The sharks were in our own little fishbowl. Call me unprofessional all you want for spilling the pot of beans, it ain’t about you, or tarnishing the band. That’s the real truth.

    Jason: Matt Kramer hasn’t done one remotely successful thing in the 15+ years he has been out of Saigon Kick. While he hates me and my songs, he has no problem featuring the videos of songs I wrote on his web site and speaking about Saigon in every interview... I guess those are still the last relevant things he has done. What he is trying to do is make himself look cool by rewriting history.... if he hated “Love Is On The Way” so much, why didn’t he quit when he first heard it, or in the studio, or when it started to go up the charts, or when we were shooting the video, or when we were touring the world? Nope, he rode it all the way because he wanted nothing more than to be a famous rock star. Only after his career came to a screeching halt did he try and repackage himself as anti-ballads. Yet when the “I Need Money For Food Tour” or as you may have heard it called, Saigon Kick reunion tour goes out, he goes around the country dancing to my songs again. Matt Kramer reminds me of Ray Finkel from “Ace Ventura Pet Detective”... Hey Matt, laces out!

    Who needs soap operas?

  • Wednesday the 23rd ... Todd Snider at the Continental Club. Nifty little up-close club to catch a GREAT songwriter. Think I'm gonna try to make that one.

  • Saturday the 26th ... Elton hits town. Consequently, Uber goes gay for a day.

  • 4/22 ... Billy Idol @ Numbers???? WTF??? If Steve Stevens is still in the band and doing those tommy-gun noises with his guitar, I am SO there!!!!

  • Categories

    1 Comments

    Uber said:

    Sadly, I opted not to go see Elton John this time around. I caught him on the EJ/BJ tour a couple years back, and decided not to spend the money this time.



    Powered by Movable Type 4.01-beta2