What in the blue bloody heck is going on in this world?

Time to load up the "Holiday Tree" with Black Sabbath tunes, sit around and watch grandma get drunk off her annual bottle of schnappes while regailing us with tales of her premarital affairs with young boys heading off to war. Turns out she was a 'special gal back home' to many of our boys in blue. Shortly after these stories begin, you drag yourself to the bathroom, where you discover cousin Jennifer snorting coke of the toilet seat. Mom is off paying the delivery guy for dropping off her homemade dinner, while dad is cleaning his guns and eyeing your sister's new boyfriend, whose name you found out the previous night is apparently "Oh My God". At least that's what she kept yelling out despite your presence in the top bunk.

Merry Xmas, now let's go to the bar.