Since When Did VH1 Know Squat About Heavy Metal?

I'm going to disagree with about 90% of this list:

40 ALICE COOPER MAKES A COMP USA COMMERCIAL
39 GENE SIMMONS MANAGES LIZA MINELLI
38 AVRIL PERFORMS "FUEL" AT METALLICA ICON
37 ADAM CURRY HOSTS HEADBANGER'S BALL
36 FAITH NO MORE's JIM MARTIN GROWS PUMPKINS
35 JOE PERRY HOCKS HOT SAUCE ON EMERIL
34 BRUCE DICKINSON FENCING/WRITES A NOVEL
33 MICHAEL BOLTON & KISS TEAM UP FOR "FOREVER"
32 AUTOGRAPH'S STEVE PLUNKETT WRITES 7TH HEAVEN'S OPENING THEME
31 VINCE NEIL STARS ON THE SURREAL LIFE
30 LEMMY WRITES MAN-ADVICE FOR JANE MAGAZINE
29 BON JOVI CUTS HIS HAIR
28 RONNIE KEEL GOES COUNTRY/BECOMES RONNIE LEE KEEL
27 PUFFY & PAGE TEAM UP FOR "COME WITH ME"
26 RATT HIRE UNCLE MILTY FOR THEIR VIDEOS
25 MOTLEY CRUE HIRES JOHN CORABI, DITCHES VINCE NEIL
24 MARIAH DOES DEF LEPPARD'S "BRINGIN' ON THE HEARTBREAK"
23 METAL ORCHESTRAS - METALLICA, SCORPIONS, DEEP PURPLE
22 EUROPE
21 BON SCOTT PLAYS THE RECORDER
20 KISS GOES DISCO WITH "I WAS MADE FOR LOVIN' YOU"
19 KIP WINGER POSES FULLY CLOTHED IN SUITS FOR PLAYGIRL
18 ALICE COOPER TRADES IN HIS BAD HABITS FOR GOLFING
17 TICO TORRES STARTS BABY CLOTHES LINE
16 TED NUGENT FORMS DAMN YANKEES
15 VANILLA ICE GOES METAL
14 OZZY PEPSI COMMERCIAL
13 PAUL STANLEY STARS AS PHANTOM OF THE OPERA
12 NELSON
11 EXTREME'S GARY CHERONE BECOMES VAN HALEN'S SINGER
10 MICHAEL BOLTON EARLY METAL CAREER
9 KIP WINGER BALLERINA
8 METALLICA CUTS THEIR HAIR
7 SHERYL CROW COVERS "SWEET CHILD O' MINE"
6 JETHRO TULL WINS THE FIRST EVER METAL GRAMMY
5 PAT BOONE GOES METAL FOR AN ALBUM OF METAL CLASSICS
4 HEADBANGER'S BALL CANCELLED
3 CELINE DION COVERS AC/DC AT VH1 DIVAS LAS VEGAS
2 OZZY GOES TO WASHINGTON TO MEET BUSH
1 VINCE NEIL LEADS GIANT CHICKEN DANCE

For one, I think anytime you note a "low point" for anything, there's got to be a threshold of people that recall the moment. And since there's not a lot that can recall some of the more recent entries here (esp. #1), this list has some serious flaws.

Clearly, there are three entries that can argue for #1: KISS going disco, Pat Boone crooning some Dio, and Jethro Tull being considered heavy metal by anyone on the face of the earth. It's arguable, I think, which of those goes in what order. But I'd have to personally rank Jethro Tull at the bottom of the barrel, with KISS's dance moves closely behind.

After that, this list because rather specious ... how many people really knew about Kip Winger taking ballet classes as opposed to those who count themselves disappointed by Gary Cherone's tenure at the front of Van Halen? Clearly, VH3 has to be in the bottom 5 of any list.

Entries like "Nelson," I can understand ... but Europe? You gotta be kidding me. Once they dumped the original guitarist for Kee Marcello, they were clearly a force that deserved more attention. #32, in particular, grates with me as I fail to see how that's a low point. I'm fairly sure that many would consider the theme song to 7th Heaven far superior to "Turn Up the Radio," anyway. I wouldn't, but I would note that Autograph's strongest points were it's catchy, radio-friendly songwriting as well as some expert two-hand-tapping guitar solos by Steve Lynch. Something missed with regards to Ronnie Lee Keel's move to country, however, is that he still packs a solid rock guitarist in the band, making the combination something of a curiosity for even diehard metalheads. As far as the divas and wannabes covering metal classics, the only one I recall is one that I do think deserves to be somewhere in the 30-40 range is Celine singing "You Shook Me." Clearly, the content was not self-evident to the handlers of that show, it was the initial VH1 Divas show ... and it was Celine freakin Dione singing AC/DC.

Items they may have missed (in no particular order) ...

  • Pretty Boy Floyd (I add this as a fan)
  • Beavis & Butthead (c'mon, this utterly killed the poppier bands out there)
  • Vinne Vincent Invasion and/or Yngwie J. Malmsteen (again ... as a fan)
  • P.M.R.C. (the absence of this entry seriously discredits VH1 as any source of music info)
  • Billy Idol on Letterman (who could forget a stoned-out Idol regaling Dave with the various drugs given names of his songs ... proudly)
  • Guns N Roses' attempted comeback (if you want something relatively recent)
  • Metallica seeing therapists (great movie, but some things speak for themselves in terms of lameness)

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4 Comments

Ulysses said:

Disagree with the "KISS goes disco" entry - not because I am a devoted KISS fan, but because anyone who's listened to their albums could tell you that they were NOT heavy metal. At least not until the mid/late 80s, well after their disco foray.

Thrillhouse said:

They weren't heavy metal in the sense that we children of the 80s know heavy metal to be, but in the larger swathe of time, they more than qualify. Save the hair-splitting for arguments over whether Deep Purple, Aerosmith, or ZZ Top is a heavy metal band ... or Nelson, for that matter.


Ulysses said:

Yeah, see... I'd say no on all counts. Even though I'm not a metal head, I'm sort of a purist when it comes to those designations.

Thrillhouse said:

Yeah, but purity in hindsight isn't always the same as realtime purity. I mean, if KISS wasn't heavy metal in 1975 (or '76, or '77 ...), what was? It sure as heck wasn't Nick Gilder.



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