It was inevitable that I would go catch an opening weekend screening of an underdog documentary set around the world of competitive classic arcade gaming. I speak, of course, of the recent release "King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters" After all, I attend the HAAG Expo every year, used to own a few classic arcade machines myself, and still fire up MAME to enjoy the feeling of simplistic gaming at it's finest. Of course, when I saw that the Alamo Drafthouse that was about a mile and a half from my apartment would have the only ticket in town, and would be hosting a Donkey Kong tournament with first prize being an actual Donkey Kong machine, I was in like Flynn.

Of course, before describing my DK exploits on the big screen, let's examine the movie. Set around this one poor schlub's multiple attempts to break the record at Donkey Kong, set 20+ years prior by the "villain" of the film, Billy Mitchell. Of course, you have to realize that this film wouldn't be nearly as interesting if one of the characters wasn't classified as a villain, and his footage framed to make him look like one, but Billy himself doesn't do much to dispel the image of him being a complete douchebag. He compares his statements on classic arcade gaming and hot sauce to statements on abortion, acts like a complete ass to our underdog hero Steve, and is 'the inside man' to Twin Galaxies, the official sanctioning body of arcade high scores.

Enter Steve Weibe, the underdog extraordinaire, who hasn't succeeded at much (except getting a rather cute wife), and who sees the decades-old Donkey Kong score as his path to greatness. Of course this story can't be cut and dry, served up with a training montage and a knockout of Clubber Lang at the end, as we have to have some backroom insider deals and shenanigans going on. In the end, what we're left with is a tale reminiscent of Frank Capra's "Mr. Smith Goes To Washington", with underdog Steve being thwarted at every turn by the political machine of Twin Galaxies and Billy Mitchell. The climax of the film doesn't come with Steve breaking the record at a major event, but rather gaining the acceptance and respect of the classic gaming community. Of course, we couldn't leave it at that, and in what feels like a postscript to the film, Steve Weibe's record-breaking game is described just before the credits. The film ends without seeing the moment of triumph, as the record-breaking game took place after principle photography for this documentary ended.

Now flash-forward to July 2007. Steve Weibe's record falls after only 4 months, as Billy Mitchell breaks the record with a score of 1,050,200 points. Now you have to realize that Donkey Kong is a hard as hell machine, and to have any hope of reaching this type of score you have to actually reach what is called the "kill screen", where the machine runs out of memory and levels and the player just dies. But not only do you have to reach the kill screen, you have to rack up as many bonus points (be it destroyed barrels or timer bonuses) as possible. Well, not only has Billy offered up classic gaming glory, but he's also offering $10,000 to anyone who beats that score. So get hopping, nerds. Maybe one day you can be in the record books and have a wife who looks like she just fell off a display platform at the boat show like Billy...

You all are probably wondering how I did in the Donkey Kong tournament. Well, I didn't even qualify for the final round. Never my best game, it took a game of 5 minutes to qualify for the round in which you compete for the machine. Which is fine, I don't have room for an arcade machine in my apartment anyway (and no longer have a truck to transport it...and don't want to carry it up to the third floor). Perhaps if they ever have a Dig Dug contest, I will have a better shot. And if there's ever a Robotron or Track & Field contest, you know I'm sponsoring Ulysses for entry there....