ClownCarBlog.com

WTF happened to the Muppets?!

So last night was the premiere of the new Muppet Christmas movie on NBC. One word sums it up: heartbreaking. No, this isn't because it was a sad movie. It's because I was expecting so much more. I mean, these are the same Muppets who, when I was a mere tot, made me believe that a green sock with some ping pong ball halves glued on REALLY WAS a frog. They were always that believeable for me. And last night really did a lot to damage that one. Now where is my copy of A Muppet Christmas Carol to help repair that damage?

OK, so it wasn't all bad. There were a few good things last night:
1) Pepe the King Prawn. This is a recently-introduced character (I think in Muppets In Space). I thought him annoying in that movie. Here, he was equally annoying, but in a good way. He was very lecherous, and the scenes between him and Joan Cusack did it for me.
2) The second half. OK, it was a straight ripoff of "It's a Wonderful Life", but if you're going to steal from someone, it might as well be Capra. Kermit finding out what the world would be like if he had never been born, not to shabby.
3) The old standbys. Beaker, Dr. Honeydew, Statler, Waldorf and Johnny the lounge singer guy. You can't go wrong with them.
4) The return of Doc Hoppers! Yes, they acknowledge their past by including Doc Hopper's French Fried Frog Legs restaurants in the "It's a Wonderful Life" sequence. Golden, I say. Too bad not enough kids today have seen the original Muppet Movie to understand why that was so darn funny.

Now, there were some really bad things too:
1) A Moulin Rouge parody. Please, shoot me now
2) Whoopie Goldberg as God. She's already pretentious enough to constanly put herself in the center square, but now she has to be the allmighty? GET OVER YOURSELF!
3) David Arquette. Yes, the former WCW World Champion was in this movie. I hate you with all my heart, David. I hope you get hit by a bus.
4) Not enough songs. This is a Muppet movie, and there were 3 whole songs in it? Come on! There should be a MINIMUM of 5 songs in a Muppet movie.
5) This movie was on opposite The Brady Bunch in the White House. I was so distraught when I found that out. Unfortunately, I couldn't record one and watch the other. One day, DirecTivo, you will be mine. Oh yes you will.....

If Only They Could Have Seen it Coming

Official accused of assaulting wife - 11/29/02

"Newly elected Macomb County Commissioner Kurt Kramer was charged with assaulting his wife, two years after allegedly attacking his first wife."

Right there ... the first sentence. And I'm asking myself, "Self, how the hell did he get elected?"

You know its a slow news day when ...

When "The History of Tabasco" leads the news on NPR's site. Gotta admit, though ... its a fun little read.

Internet Holy Wars I Didn't Start

Speaking of irony, I probably wouldn't even know about this blog 'cept for the fact that its now a poster child of sorts for blog de-linking. Seems Jennie Taliaferro (of Greatest Jeneration fame) decided to delink (and even IP ban) Dustin since he outted himself as a conservative Democrat in an email to her. Jen replies that since we are at war, and that Dems equate with terrorists, she is duty-bound to delink Dustin. The full story from Dustin's side is posted on his site. Rather entertaining reading, and as a participant of many a internet holy war, it ranks as somewhat tame, but moronic all at the same time.

Nevertheless, since I'm at war with idiocy, I'm adding Dustin to my mighty list o links, and will correspondingly not be linking the Worst Jeneration to my site. What can I say, I do bitter things when properly motivated.

Irony Defined

I've often posited that the ultimate popup ad would be this one that I now see on my PC:

Stuff I'm Thankful For

What the hell, its Thanksgiving. Just spent some quality time with some of my friends, eating their food, hogging their computer, and gabbing it up about whatever nonsense fills our heads at the moment. So here's the whole list (well, the part I can think of at the moment) in no particular order:

1. All my friends. Yeah, I know I talk a mean game and can pretty much come across as a grizzled old man who's more than content to live life alone as long as I've got Vienna Sausages to eat over the sink and cold Mountain Dew in the fridge. But truth be told, there are those souls out there that, for reasons they'll take to their graves, have befriended myself. More power to em. Whether its friends I've gotten to know through Rocky, Hockey, blogging, online, offline, or any other life interest, you've all brought my life much merriment and learning and I'm a better person for knowing each and every one of you. Kudos for putting up with an angry ol cuss such as myself.

2. cheese in a can.

3. Any musician who has recorded anything I've listened to ... ever. Music is one of the true, pure joys I can claim in life. My CD or MP3 player never argues with me (I guess I can forgive the occassional power outages), plays precisely what I ask of it, and puts me in the mood for whatever I care to listen to. The last year especially has been pretty damned awesome what with me getting to see what will possibly the final performance of Jason & the Scorchers as well as my fave current band, The Donnas, on the cusp of what I hope is all the stardom they hope to achieve in life. Add to that the fact that the very first album I bought is going to be released on CD soon, and I've had a good run, musically.

4. The fine folks at Mountain Dew for creating a fine caffiennated drink, along with the new addition of Code Red. Dr Pepper is still worthy of praise and thanks for the many years of caffiene it has provided me as well. Its still the second most caffienated drink out there, and you have not lived till you go to Waco and visited the Dr Pepper Museum. I heartily recommend the Dr Pepper Malt.

5. Whoever came up with the idea of hockey. While I remain a fan of all sports, hockey has always had a captive fan with me. I hated to see the old Ft. Worth Texans fold in the early 80s, but I've got the next best thing to the NHL in my hometown right now, so I can't complain. Go Aeros!

6. Whoever came up with the idea of eternal hope. Cus being a University of Houston alum, it comes in mighty handy. I'm not big on idolizing sports heros, but all the ones I do have are from UH and have genuinely taught me a valuable life lesson based on their performance on the field of play. Danny Davis has taught me that anything is possible as long as you set your mind to it. David Klingler has taught me that sometimes the goals in life you aim for aren't necessarily the ones that God has in store for you. On a macro scale ... Football has taught me patience. Basketball has taught me even more patience. Baseball has taught me the joys of minor triumphs and major heartbreaks. Golf has taught me the joy of having a history to look back on with pride. And last, but not least, volleyball has taught me that women's sports are far more entertaining when women bounce.

7. The 99-cent hamburger. Sure, there's cheaper, but the idea of a 99-cent burger is that its a full size burger, but cheap. Whenever I have no clue what to eat, this old standbye will always remain by my side.

8. Wal Mart. The cheapskate within me has eternal thanks for knowing where to find the cheapest loaf of bread, the cheapest television, and the cheapest bland clothing.

9. Every source of comedic material I have ripped off since the dawn of time. Whether its Bob Newhart, Jerry Seinfeld, Stephen Wright, Sam Kinison, Lewis Black, or the inspired works of fellow Muppets, Statler & Waldorf ... you have each given my life's work a method to evoke my madness. I will continue to rip you all off from here to eternity.

10. My inner child ... for pretty much running the show. Job well done!

Burning Issues of Our Time: Part 1

Dallas Observer | dallasobserver.com | Dining : Burning Question

The Dallas Observer explores what may be the biggest question facing civilization today. Exactly what is the difference between Mexican food and Tex-Mex food? Well, I have to admit, I thought I knew the answer to that after managing a Taco Bell a long long time ago. Always thought it odd that no Hispanics ever ate there, but they did eat at Taco Cabana. Ah well ... live and learn.

I have to admit that for 24 hour Mexican food, there's not many better places to get that enchilada fix than at Ruchi's though. Beats Taco Cabana by a mile unless you just have a hankering for one of TC's specialties (I'm a little fond of their chicken tacos). It helps that there's four of em inbetween myself and River Oaks theater.

For normal hours, though, I'm right in the heart of mexican food central and I can walk outside to get my fix within 5 minutes. Mom & pop restaurants are always a gamble (in more ways than one), but when you find a good dish at one, you know you're onto something. There's presently three nearby establishments that I frequent. Two of which, I cannot pronounce the names to, one of which I'm not sure that it really has a name.

When all else fails, the nearest gas station get tamales from a nearby family and at 3/$1, they rock!

Movie Review: Moulin Rouge

Observations made while watching Moulin Rouge:

1. The hills are alive with the sound of music? WTF??? Is this the right movie???
2. My fast forward button does not work fast enough
3. My loins are alive with the sound of Nicole Kidman's fake orgasm.
4. Why the HELL did he start singing in the middle of that fake orgasm?!?!?!?
5. Enough with the singing already ... blah blah blah ... sing sing sing ... blah blah blah
6. Ya know what this movie lacks? Statler & Waldorf, that's what!
7. Could this movie be any gayer?
8. Screw Flanders
9. Ya know what this movie really lacks? MORE NICOLE KIDMAN!!!!
10.1 Total movie runtime: 127 mnutes - Elapsed time via fast forward: 20 minutes
10.2 Those bastards! They killed Nicole Kidman!!!!!

Speaking of Muppets ...

Muppet Central News - NBC's Muppet Christmas movie to air Friday November 29th

Yeah, speaking of Muppets, everyone ... and I mean EVERYONE ... needs to be in front of their television watching this on Friday. Its on NBC at 7, or so I'm told. Its getting a few bad reviews just cuz some people hate to see the Muppets in a more modern setting. But don't fear, the footage of Kermit with that threatening black man, Snoop Dogg, has been cut. I still say that's a crock. Kermit vs Dogg would have been well worth watching.

Anyways, the big highlight of this for me, is that Molly Shannon will be in this, also. Sadly, so will the entire cast of Scrubs. Yeesh, who the hell came up with that stinker of a show?!?!? Interesting that they have a spoof of Moulin Rouge and I got one more movie to watch from my Netflix stash: Moulin Rouge! I know, its a dumb movie, but Nicole Kidman is really hot. What can I say, I'm a sucker for redheads.

Back to your daily business now ...

UPDATE: In looking online for more info on S&W, I realized that their signature line is "Get off the stage, you bum." Ulysses will find this very amusing as I can assure him I came up with MY signature line independent of this. Spooky, huh?

Blogging: For Men Only?

Telling All Online: It's a Man's World (Isn't It?)

Interesting peice that's sure to get a lot of debate going around various blogs. Quite frankly, it doesn't surprise me much that us guys are overrepresented in this outlet ... we like to argue. Try catching us on a Monday after a big football game.

That said, I can always safely point to at least one blog that I have always thank the good Lord for ... ScriptyGoddess, which is run by a few women offering tips for blog hacks.

A Rocky Review Primer

Imagine my surprise to see a really poignant post on Rocky reviews from a cast member in the comments of another post. I thought since it was a pretty good point that it deserves a little bit more recognition.

First off, a little context ... the T.H.E.M. cast has had some issues with the fact that someone is critiquing the shows. I'm sure it doesn't help much that I've not had a ton of great things to say about their show, also. Were I a more diplomatic person, I'd think of something really diplomatic to write instead. But much like the cast goes to have a good time ... so does the audience. And when I write a review, I keep that sense of humor in the forefront. Nevertheless, not everyone is going to get that, see that, or care for that. Such is life.

The latest round has been set off by the notion that I'm running off cast members who simply cannot stand scathing remarks which I obviously post because a) I'm better than they are and b) I like to tear people down emotionally. Now see, kids ... that's sarcasm right there. I fail to see how I, the proud owner of a truck that will soon be able to vote, can go around with my nose in the air towards anyone. Likewise, I gain no amusement from thinking that I might send someone home to cry about the fate they've been dealt in life.

Still, when I made the request for input from cast members who have felt the need to leave the cast based on my treatment of them, I have gotten all of one ... ONE response. That's quite a stretch from the 7-8 that have been pinned on me.

So it is that Charles tries to educate me on the nature of a show I've been witness to almost nonstop now for about 15 months. That's by no means the longest stretch of time among those involved in Rocky, but as far as audience members go ... its up there. Here's what Charles had to say:

Let me start of with this first. I am speaking strictly for myself and what I say in no way reflects the opinions of the THEM cast or their cast directors. What I have to say is screw the both of you. Greg, it's pretty low of you to print e-mails on your web site. If someone wants a message to you to be public, they will print it on your "almighty" website such as I am doing now. And as for your opinions on Myke, well, who really cares what you think? Myke rules! You see Greg, your opinion would count much more if you had ever proven yourself on a stage. Let me give you an example from someone we all know. The Amazing Randy. He kicks ass. We know this, everyone knows this. He has shown that he kicks ass. Therefore if he ever came to me with an opinion or criticism I'd probably listen. That is as opposed to some thirtysomething guy who likes to come to the show to lear at eighteen year old girls.

So when it comes to your question Greg, "What is it about Rocky?" You'd probably be the best to answer it considering you spend so much time on the net devoted to it. You see, during the week, I hardly ever think about Rocky. I'm too busy...well...working and having a life. For me Rocky is a chance to get together with my friends, get up in front of people and make a few laugh (granted I bomb more often than not) and I get to yell "Fuck" in a theater. Rock On! I'm a musician, not an actor. I have no plans on becoming an actor. I'm just there to have a good time, like all of us. Sure, sometimes things don't get done...Rocky bags don't get made, websites don't get updated, costumes don't get cleaned (we can all smell when that happens)... but that's all because we have lives during the week.

So Greg, if you abhor our show so much, go ahead and go to Webster. On the other hand, if you want to keep coming back, that's cool, we can always use your 7.50. Either way enjoy Rocky for what it is, a cathartic end to the week and a way to kick back with friends.

And as for you and Ulysses, leave the cast directors alone. Jenni desreves more credit than she gets for the things she does, and she balances her jobs and school on top of all that. Rocky may not be her top priority (and I'll feel sorry for anyone for whom it is), but that just shows that she's an adult who has more important things to do with her life than little piddly spats over the internet. Luckily for you, I had nothing better to do this Friday night. So for both of you getting on Jenni's case, I deliver to you a hearty "fuck off."

Enter the beloved Kassi. Well, she's beloved by me obviously as I've been a large part of the Kassi Fan Club, but I know for a fact that I'm not alone & I'm not just talking about her fiance (another fine Rocky talent in his own right).

Charles. your point would be valid if public shows were meant to be seen by performers only. But they are not, they are meant to be paid for by an audience. They are meant to entertain an audience. Therefore, someone who has performed onstage has the LEAST ability to judge a show because they can no longer see it from the viewpoint of an audience.. they know too much of what goes into it and notice things an audience never would. If I go by your logic then if you go to a restaurant and say that the food is awful, my reply is "you can not get your money back because you have never cooked before, i'm sorry, but because of this your opinion just doesn't count."

I know I could say those same very words (and infact, may have at some point), but they carry a lot more validity from Kassi. While I hesitate to put words in others' mouths, I likewise know that similar sentiments have been expressed by others involved in Rocky.

I'll respectfully disagree on one count that Kassi makes, though. That someone who's cast cannot review the show with the same type of objectivity. On average, that point may be valid. But there are a few souls out there who have and would get an open invite should they care to share their insight into a Rocky performance. I know if Jim wanted to do so ... all he has to do is say the word. While Jef & I have our sources of disagreement, I've got enough respect for his judgement regarding the show to do the same. If I want a lighthearted take on the show, Uber is always an email away. And if I want to just mess with everyone's heads during the show, I'll have Mina do a review ... SOBER! To be sure, there's more. But it takes a certain breed who can say something beyond: "Everyone did great." Nevertheless, one tip of the hat to Kassi.

Sidenote: In case anyone's concerned about objectivity here, its worth noting that I've had plenty of bad reviews for Kassi. I believe they all involved her early portrayals of Crim when she was either sick, forced to work lights in addition, and/or not planning on being cast for that show.

Go-Go Ghouls

NYPOST.COM Regional News: LIVE NUDE GHOULS! By TODD VENEZIA

Well, I know where I'm going when I'm dead.

Big Brother Is Watching

The Shifted Librarian: Tuesday, November 26, 2002

Screw the Patriot Act, suddenly I have a lot more to worry about if I ever procure a TiVo.

Sweet November Nears an End

Well, with the Turkey Day Football Holiday upon us, I can already see the end of November in my sights, and this means one thing, and one thing only ... Alex comes out of hiatus and returns to blogging. I think its time we all encourage him to do something really over the top on that Sunday, December 1. Something like going through an entire newspaper and blogging on every single article online. Naturally, that will happen after he posts his finished novel online and we all make it available through Morpheus/Kazaa/et al ... relegating him to the ranks of artists who never see a dime from the fruits of their labor.

Needless to say, I'm getting weary of all my fave sites taking the holiday off and posting very lightly. My schedule works in reverse, of course. I see the extended holidays not as a chance to eat more food, watch more football, socialize with people, or catch up on shopping that we all know should have been done in June. No, I see it as downtime where I can vegetate in front of my PC and blather on incessently about whatever runs across my mind.

Speaking of which ... The Simpsons draft is in the works ... first draft is mostly complete and it will happen soon. It's just turning into a little bit bigger project than even I anticipated.

Which Theologian Are You?

Kinda skimpy test and I think I'm gonna go back and jerry-rig a few answers next time. "Everyone loves you and wants to talk to you..." Where the hell do they get that from????

"God will not suffer man to have the knowledge of things to come; for if he had prescience of his prosperity he would be careless; and understanding of his adversity he would be senseless." You are Augustine! You love to study tough issues and don't mind it if you lose sleep over them. Everyone loves you and wants to talk to you and hear your views, you even get things like "nice debating with you." Yep, you are super smart, even if you are still trying to figure it all out. You're also very honest, something people admire, even when you do stupid things. What theologian are you? A creation of Henderson

THEM Site Updated?

Well, almost ... sorta. Since the cast itself cannot dare bring itself to update the front page, I took it upon myself to do so. All that need be done is download this file. Save it as index.html, upload it to the site and voila!

Downloading instructions:
Method 1 - Right click, select Save Target As, rename file, upload it from there.
Method 2 - click on link, Right click the page, select View Source, cut and paste source code into existing index page.

Use of this page is hereby transferred to lazy slugs in the THEM cast who would rather whine about the status of their life than act like a grownup. It does not constitute acknowledgement that I am better than any living soul, nor does it represent a trashing of one's emotions.

THEM Update: Myke was kind enough to send a reply to my request for input by the cast. He even followed up my request for a few examples, which I rebutted and explained. While he has yet to respond to that, thus far his actions speak more highly of him than the others in the cast who cannot seemingly discuss the topic without storming off in a huff. Kudos Myke.

Movie Review: The Others

Jeez, what a creepy movie. I actually wished I'd seen this at some late night showing on the big screen. I'd have to give the casting director a major boo-yah since there's not a better female lead to cast in this than Nicole Kidman. I mean, she's creepy enough as it is. The irony being that my primary interest in this movie was due to my deep lust for Kidman. It also comes across as a really intense flick from the trailers.

The basic jist here is that Kidman plays the single most uptight mom in post-war England, moving herself and her two kids into a big house, where they have no electricity because when the Germans bombed them, they just learned to live without. The kids suffer from photosensitivity and they must remain in the dark as much as possible. Its a weird twist, but it makes the movie all the creepier. I'm tellin ya, I turned out all the lights while watching this, and as jaded as I am, this movie gives me the willies.

Kidman is a strict mom, reinforcing the idea of various hells to the kids in their homeschooling. When Anne, the daughter, comes across a ghost kid that used to live in the house, that kid is, in fact, stuck in hell. So like a lot of really good thrillers, it plays off existing fears ... in this case, isolation and guilt are the biggest culprits. Bottom line, this is your standard creepy house flick, and its done incredibly well. The kids are even a little creepy.

I can't give away much more than that without really taking away from it, but if you've not seen it yet and have a thing for creepy movies, this one's a must. Trust me.

Favorite non-intense part of the flick ---
Anne: And I don't believe that Noah got all those animals into one boat.
Nicholas: No, I don't believe that either.
Anne: Doves are anything but holy.
Nicholas: They poo in our windows.

I need to borrow that line one of these days.

Donnas Invade Tempe

Nov. 26: The Donnas

I only add this for the one money quote which I'm glad to see someone else besides me make:

"But there's no confusion that the Donnas are one of the premier rock bands in America today."

Amen!

Reverse Blogging

[brad choate dot com] Blogging in Reverse

Another idea I'd love to implement. The irony here is that this is all too easily done with many other Web Publishing Systems, say PHPNuke. Nevertheless, I like MovableType also, so I'm not looking to change. So in the meantime, I'll see what brilliant idea Brad comes up with.

The Donnas in the New York Times

The Donnas

Well, I guess its official. The Donnas have arrived, and it has nothing to do with their song getting played on MTV or even being on the ballot for TRL. They've now been mentioned in the New York Times.

A fairly mediocre article, though. It intends to capture a little of their freewheeling spirit while on the road, which is kinda cool. But the article loses me in comparing them to a cross between KISS and The Go-Gos. Sheesh ... can we get off that comparison, which is only made because both bands have all females? Just because the singer looks a tad like Belinda Carlisle does not mean she sounds anything like her. Quite the opposite. Did the author of this article even go to the show?

Hey ... I'm Offended!!!

What the hell? I'm sitting here at my computer peacefully entertaining myself by viewing WastedChicks.com, rating them in order to see the next pic and laugh some more ... and I get pop up ad ... FOR A DATING SERVICE!!!!

That's cold!!!

Spending A Night w/ The Donnas

At long long last ... November 23rd could never arrive soon enough. Hell, the album had been taking its own sweet time as it was, so now I had to wait another month to catch the concert. It was all too unbearable for this unabashed fan of the greatest rock band today: The Donnas.

Having been a veteran of a few shows of theirs at Fitzgerald's, I opted to leave for the show a little extra early for two reasons: parking in that neighborhood is a nightmare and getting a prime spot to not worry about towing or vandalism is next to impossible. Secondly, since the show was on a Saturday and the band has had all kinds of success with the latest release, I didn't want to risk being on the outside of a sellout. I was in luck on both counts. I got a pretty good spot, my truck wasn't towed, and I was early enough to never realize a mob was there until the second act got ready to perform. If I dare say so, it was all too masterfully planned by yours truly.

I'll fast forward a little through the opening bands. Your Enemies Friends was a bit on the lame side for my tastes. Sortofa typical mad-at-your-dad kinda vibe was what I got. The drummer and singer were pretty good. S'bout all I can really say about em. The Campfire Girls (which, it should be noted, have no girls in the band) were next and I thought they were a little better, although more of a melodic band, almost Nirvana-ish if I can say that while still thinking its a compliment. I knew the band would at least be able to crank out a good set when they played some riffs from Rush's New World Man during sound check. It was a rather slow set, but I have to admit I didn't think they were all that bad.

So now, the real show sets in motion. Right from the get-go, this was to be no ordinary Donnas show. Torry, the drummer, was basically working out a little anger-management therapy on her drumkit. I gotta admit ... I'm truly head over heels for a woman that can beat the holy crap out of a drum set like she can. It was truly a thing of beauty. The band opened with Are You Gonna Move It For Me, which has really grown on me as a show opener. The first show I saw them in went with Skintight as the opener and for my money, that's a clear winner of a tune right there ... its also the first song I heard and fell in love with the band to.

Among the better points to note with The Donnas is the growth of Allison as a guitar player. I've got all the CDs and to be quite honest, I can no longer listen to the early stuff despite a few catchy tunes in the mix. I just cannot fathom that its the same guitar player based on her latest work. She adds a few things live that I didn't hear on any recording, so its nice to see that she's really going forward as a musician. Performance-wise, she has a pseudo-Joe Perry thing going in her performance style. As much as it works for her, and as little as I can complain (she does, after all, play guitar with more balls then most guys out on tour today), I'd love to see if she could ditch the Les Paul guitar for a sleeker design and stretch her legs as a performer some. Still, I can't even think of complaining, and seeing ANY guitar player go out there with a Gibson and a dual short stack of Marshall Amps is always refreshing. I'm hoping if they do bigger venues, she'll whip out the old 80s standby of 4 full dual stacks of Marshall amps. Hell, I'd pay to see any performer do that today. Its just the way a guitar was meant to sound.

I wish I could comment a little more on Brett (singer) and Maya (bass) but I had my hands full with the mosh pit and lifting some young things into a crowd surf. It was all I could do to get out of there alive. Seeing one particular patron in attendance: a tall blonde female in *maybe* her early twenties ... very attractive, cute as hell, but she darted into the mosh pit with such reckless abandon that I half expected her to come out bruised and battered. She kept it up all night, and I have to admit, I'm damned impressed. I'm sure I proposed marriage to her, but who could hear such musings when The Donnas had it cranked up loud.

The stage diving was a bit much for a plain ol party rock band like The Donnas. I'm sure that's a carryover from the days when they were considered punk, but once it gets going, its impossible to stop. It took about 10 minutes into the show when a trio of teenyboppers next to me asked for a hand to lift one of theirs into the air. Brett even announced for all that they were not a ska band and even flipped off one guy who got a little too carried away and a little too close to either her or Maya. They also had to bring out a little hired muscle to help keep center stage clear. It made for a better show, IMO.

Having been to a Bouncing Souls show and fearing for my life, I can't help but notice that the stage divers there had more of an unwritten code of conduct to not interfere (too much) with the band. Then again, who wouldn't want to get next to a Donna, I guess? Needless to say, it was a different sort of stage diver witnessed on this night than for a more pure-breed punk rock band. Nevertheless, watching the moshers in action and witnessing the unwritten etiquette in action was pretty amazing, even among these kids.

Another item worth noting: Was it me, or were there more than a few moms there? Well, moms and older rock fans such as myself, that is. Just that it was what I presumed might have been a mother-daughter combo near the front that caught my attention. That just seemed a little new. One of the funner things for me to do at a Donnas show is finding people who are identifiably older than me. Kinda reassures me that I'm not the biggest outcast and no kids run away from me, calling me a narc. It didn't take long as the average age of this crowd seemed to go up somewhat more than the calendar would indicate based on their last performance. Heck, I didn't even see as many cars out front to drop off and pick up little kiddos. Could it be ... The Donnas are finally getting a more appropriate audience for their music?

I did also notice a few people there that you could take one look at and tell they were at the last heavy metal concert that came through town ... or that they stole a car to make it to the show. You know ... the TRUE heavy metal heads that make the further committment to base their life on the teachings of Iron Maiden album lyrics. Yeah, I counted a few of those, and it was likewise refreshing to see. Its refreshing because it means the band is reaching out and connecting with the audience that should appreciate their music AND that old farts like me are finding bands that are out there rocking the planet and not playing some crappy flail-&-scream crap from Ozzfest or any of that boy/girl-band crapola that passes for music today.

A good time was apparently had by all ... I can't wait to do it again cuz I know I didn't get enough quality time watching Torry play drums. These chicks rock and everyone should buy about a dozen of each of their CDs.

Coments on Comments

Interesting tidbit ... in checking the stats on this site, I notice that I'm up to 610 entries and 592 comments as I prepare to enter this post. For the longest time, I thought the comments would languish far behind the number of posts. But I have to credit my ability to rankle the Great Ulysses Zweibel as well as the fact that Alex is cheating on his claim to not look at other blogs while he takes his novel-writing hiatus.

As much as I've been posting lately, I'm even more amazed that the ratio is about even. Either way, just an indication that I know how to get a rise out of people and vice versa.

Other than that, I'm contemplating a redesign of the site and looking into a way to make Uber's posts show up separately so nobody confuses the two. If that works out, then I'll also twist UZ's arm to do guest posting as well. Details to emerge after I come up with a site redesign.

Movie Review: The Breakfast Club

Ya know, I've seen this movie all of three times. Once when it came out, once when I could find nothing better to rent at Blockbuster, and last night. Last night, I have to admit, I finally got the true brilliance of this movie.

Don't get me wrong, I knew it was pretty good, but when I saw it in my senior year of high school, it had a far different take from that perspective. At 18, you're pretty tightly wound up in whatever clique you've been cast in, and for myself, I've always been too cynical to take a message from something so crass as a major motion picture release. Such was 1985 for yours truly.

Second time around, I recall being bored outta my skull and not paying too close attention to the movie. It's dialogue heavy and unless I'm in the mood for that, I can't really get into a movie. Such was 1995 (or thereabouts) for yours truly.

Speed up the tape to last night ... forced viewing ... you just have to sit there and take it in. And I have to say this movie should be required viewing for what I got out of it. I had obviously not seen true to the light that this was, indeed, the penultimate coming of age movie. And I make that claim as a 35 year old viewing it through practically new eyes, not someone trying to revisit my youth ... cuz I could never understand that.

A few things are in order, though, and I couldn't resist noting how truly OLD Judd Nelson looked in the movie. Never realized that till now, also. In fact, he was 25 ... but could have played 30. What really ruined this movie for me the first two times was that Molly Ringwald is just too incredibly hot for me to see anything beyond that fact. Put her on a screen at the tender age of 17 and man, I'm off to the races. It was the only reason I went to see it the first time. I could also relate to the Judd Nelson and Anthony Michael Hall (as I was somewhere in the midst of those two stereotypes myself back in the day). Imagine a brainiac, rebellious, metalhead, but without the pot and pocketknife ... and that's me.

Anyways, what really stood out to me this time was that Ally Sheedy comes across as a lot more appealing to me for some reason. Even though her character is way too over the top, she's funny as all get out, and pretty hot too. At least until Molly slaps all that damn clown makeup all over her. I can tell know, why it never hit me back then, though ... in one scene, she's looking at a Prince album cover ... yech! I've also since learned I have a penchant for being drawn to and (for even more unexplainable reasons) getting along well with these oddball type of women. As long as they don't tell me they get into Prince.

Anyways, the movie is what it is and chances are, if your reading this, you've seen it way more than I have. I thought the final group conversation was overblown, but necessary for the full meaning to really come out. I think that's what blew it for me the second time around. The library dance scene was pretty gay, but it also screamed for the likes of one Jim Cahoon to run up there and mimic the movie (and in fairness, one assclown did attempt that, but only for a second). I contend that Jim could have gotten a standing ovation AND nailed that scene perfectly, complete with Ally Sheedy's morbid little death dance.

All in all, one of the more enjoyable Midnight Movies River Oaks has shown. I'd put it up there with Princess Bride and Ferris Beuhler in terms of movies I really appreciated seeing on a large screen once again. Now if they can only get a print of Rock & Roll High School.

On a somewhat tasteless note: I find out via one of Molly's fan sites that she and her hubby are set to divorce. Think about it ... first Nicole Kidman, now Molly Ringwald. At long last, the system finally works in my favor!!!

Joan Jett Rocks!

Joan Jett recently fired off this open letter to Rolling Stone magazine as a protest to their Women of Rock issue. I'll admit, as a fan of lady rockers, I scoped out the mag and after my fill of Britney, Christina, etc... I put it back on the rack. Much like Joan, I didn't see anything "ROCK" in that coverage. But I gotta admit, I love Joan's take on this. Bold parts are added for emphasis as well as my way of saying: HELL YEAH!!!

I tried to find some cleverly worded way to express my disgust with your "Women in Rock" issue, but what i have to say is really quite simple: You guys are completely retarded.

By RS standards, Rock is no longer a style of music but a trendy costume to be whipped up by expensive stylists and slapped onto the latest pop tart barbie doll. Give a girl some tight pants and a spiky bracelet and POOF! She ROCKS!

Your poor choice of cover girls and featured artists brings to mind the Sports Illustrated swimsuit editions. There is nothing necessarily wrong with the breast-baring models inside..but we all understand that they have NOTHING TO DO WITH SPORTS--Which just might be offensive to women who are interested in sports or who might even be (gasp) real athletes.

Yes, Britney has a talented stylist and yes, somebody gave Shakira a Guns & Roses t-shirt to wear..but they ARE NOT NOW NOR WILL THEY EVER BE ROCK.

Maybe it's naive of me to expect any glimmer of rock'n'roll credibility OR respect for women from a magazine whose cover shot is regularly a naked underweight actress. The thing is , I AM a woman musician with a rock band, and as we all are I am STARVED for any little crumb of recognition that real women rockers might be thrown. So like a sucker I find myself short another five bucks ..and pissed enough to write my first letter to an editor. Avril Lavigne gets some studded accessories from Hot Topic so now she's "upholding the brazen tradition of teenage outrage"???!! Are you SERIOUS? And could someone please explain to me why people keep insisting on referring to PINK as rock? Wasn't she doing the white girl hip hop thing a minute ago? Yeah, she performed on the Aerosmith tribute show --big deal..she was on the Janet Jackson tribute show just before that--Whatever's trendy. WHO CARES. She's a Spice Girl reject...but I digress.

Jewel and Mandy friggin' Moore have full page features as Rock Icons...Meanwhile Joan Jett gets one line. ONE LINE. Joan Jett & the Blackhearts, who have never stopped touring, recently did 10 days in the Middle East playing for the troops stationed in Afghanistan. In AFGHANISTAN, Joan would come onstage wearing a birkha, which she ripped off and stomped on before blazing through the purest and nastiest rock show ANYWHERE. But even in the RS WOMEN IN ROCK issue, a story like that gets ONE SENTENCE on the bottom of the last page of Random Notes.

Britney's Rock credentials? Well, she butchers the song "I Love Rock'n'Roll" on her latest record, and when asked about it the genius replies "Well, I've always loved Pat Benatar." And SHE is your Rock issue cover girl?? You should be REALLY embarrassed.

Sleater Kinney was the only rock group listed on the cover..and they got only half a page. Ashanti, the r&b back up singer who can't seem to do anything without "featuring Jah Rule," has two pages.

What about the Donnas? The Yeah Yeah Yeahs? The Distillers? A mag like RS has the power to shine important light on groups like these--instead they are afterthoughts, and that valuable spotlight is wasted on the same overexposed pop princesses WHO HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH ROCK.

In your own letter from the editor you have the hypocritical balls to say "rock radio won't touch female artists, while the pop factory keeps churning out soundalike clones, and ambitious musicians with something to say find themselves left out in the cold."

The pages that follow those words are a blatant display that Rolling Stone magazine is happily working for the factory now too.

If the issue had been called "Women in Music"..or maybe "Some Cute Girls with Top 10 Records out Right Now"..I would have no beef with it. Corny as it may sound, ROCK is something which is still meaningful and even sacred to some of us. Use the word "rock" in bold letters next to a picture of Britney Fucking Spears, and you're turning your whole publication into a joke...and an offensive joke at that.

I truly, truly hope now that Joan Jett is not a lesbian and that she grows her hair back out ... cuz I'm in love. Any woman that A) knows a thing or two about how to rock, B) is hip to The Donnas, and C) can crank out a bitter peice of rant like that is a woman truly after my own heart.

Wow, I Won Jellybeans!!!

Who the hell sends out spam for JELLYBEANS!?!?!?!?

, the information regarding your unclaimed prize #67872 is listed below.

Dear ,

Our prize notification department has informed us that you have been awarded a valuable Jelly Belly gift, but as of Novermber, 2002 it remains unclaimed.

This Jelly Belly gift is reserved for you only, and will be held for the next 48 hours in your name: , at gregwythe@yahoo.com to give you adequate time to claim.

Simply click here to view your Jelly Belly gift.

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P.S. Please feel free to forward this great offer to a friend!

*All offers are based on 100% customer satisfaction. Yourfreepresent reserves the right to cancel this offer any time once quantities run out. A handling charge of $5.93 will be applied to each item. All merchandise and offers are based on first come first serve. Offer not valid in the state of California and Washington.

CD Review: Colonel Parker: Rock & Roll Music

Wow, I hadn't intended to write a CD review and certainly if I was, I'd do The Donnas new release instead. But I'm catching up on some listening on some stuff I bought at CD Warehouse as they clear out their inventory. I managed to get a handful of CDs and a Ramones keychain for about $20. Nothing real high quality on the list, although I did have to pass up on a hard-to-find CD by Jeff Healey doing cover tunes. I gave it a listen way back in the day, thought there was one good song on it, refused to pay $15 for it and went about my merry way. Could have gotten it for about $6 the other day, but I still passed.

Anyway, this CD really caught me by surprise. I only bought it because of two factors. One, Gilby Clarke (formerly of Guns N Roses) was in it, and two, it was only $1.99. So it was a no risk procurement. I'm not a big GNR fan, but I had heard about this project and thought "what the hell." I gotta admit after listening to it, that it is really a cool CD, though. So I'm here to shout it from the mountaintop. Its a pretty heavy 70s vibe, very Steve Miller ... with a bit of Counting Crows mixed in. Definitely a retro feel to it. But the fact that I'm adding about 4 of the songs to my MP3 roster is pretty impressive for something I didn't think I'd even like all that much.

Irony being what it is, one of the other CDs I got while there was a Duff McKagen solo release. Dunno what it is about Guns & Roses when I was shopping. Just one of those things, I guess. Too bad I didn't run across Slash's Snakepit or something like that.

Wizard of Oz

Welcome to AngelikaFilmCenter.com: Houston, Texas: Now Showing: The Wizard of Oz - Sensational Cinema Series

Ya know, I gotta admit, this is kinda cool. Nevermind that I've seen the TV version a zillion times. An opportunity to see it on the big screen is always more than a little cool. Decisions, decisions, though ... when do I try to catch it:

SHOW TIMES:
Fri 11/22 & Sun 11/24:
12:20pm
2:45pm
5:05pm
7:25pm
9:50pm

Sat 11/23:
10:00am
12:20pm
2:45pm
5:05pm
7:25pm
9:50pm

Mon 11/25 & Tues 11/26:
5:05pm
7:25pm
9:50pm

Movie Review: Molly Shannon Movie Marathon

What is one to do after a hockey game when you need to have something playing in the background whilst you piddle around online? I'd say its time to pop in a few movies. If for no other reason than it allows you to claim you saw it and still return it to Netflix as soon as possible.

So last night, I popped in the two comedies I got: Shallow Hal and Night at the Roxbury. Roxbury, I've seen before and can review blindfolded (although I make no claims as to what my typing skills would be). Shallow Hal, I've missed out on till now. And in fairness, I'm really relieved that I never paid $7.50 to see this pile of crap. I mean I had more fun watching Dude, Where's My Car on the big screen than this. The obvious draw in this for me, was Jack Black. He fails to deliver. Something incredibly unbelievable about him as a shallow egomaniac that can get any woman he wants. Then again, I know full well that this was an extension of his Tenacious D character. To me, that doesn't help ... I hate his Tenacious D character.

Anyways, back to the real highlight: Molly Shannon. The former SNL comedienne is really a sidenote in this movie as she only plays an uncredited role as young Hal's mom when young Hal goes to see his dad die. If you blink, you'll miss her. The rest of the movie is all downhill. The crap hits the fan when you realize that the obvious take on this movie is that all fat people are pure at heart and wonderful people. Bullcrank, I say. I know loads of fat people that aren't happy wonderful people. Just go to a trailer park & you'll see plenty. It was all a bit much. When Hal goes through his phase of seeing everyone for what they are on the inside, he tags along with Paltrow while she does volunteer work at a children's burn ward in the hospital. Irony being that all the kids look perfect in the first scene. But when Jack has his moment of reflection and hunts down the plumpy Paltrow at the same hospital, Hal gets greeted by a kid by name, sees the burns, and then REALLY realizes what just happened to him. I gotta admit, for Jack Black flix, its a pretty touching scene. Not enough to make a grown man cry, but still a really nice scene. Oh and Tony Robbins is in it ... there's a guy that would make the world a better place by offing himself.

OK, after that load of drivel, I needed a surefire laugh, so I pop in Roxbury. Golden! This movie has no deep meaning and if your not familiar with the SNL characters, don't bother. But if you are, I would surmise that this is perhaps one of the better SNL movies to come down the pike as of late. I mean, what's the competition? This movie at least warrants laughter here and there. And Molly Shannon's character is a laugh riot, complete with significant screen time. She wins me over trying to entice Will Farrel's character by enumerating what a real slut she can be (dunno why, but this REALLY has an effect on me for some reason). She also has a scene in which she has an orgasm discussing furniture. That's more funny than sexy. In digging up info on Molly, I realize she's 3 years older than me, and still very doable. Also learned that she was involved in a car wreck as a kid and lost a parent and/or some other family members in it, and that that's been a motivating force for her career. That's pretty interesting and I hadn't known that before.

Nevertheless, there's no grand point to all of this. I have the hots for Molly Shannon and hereby begin the Houston chapter of her fan club. Ironically, that Mary Elizabeth (or whatever it was) catholic schoolgirl character has never done anything for me, and the movie Superstar was a complete waste of my time way back when I rented it.

The Donnas Hit The Press

Houston Press | houstonpress.com | Music

Now, this is a little more like it ... The Donnas in the alternate press, where they belong!

On a sad note, I'm now disillussioned by the following quote from the drummer (whom I'm madly in love with):

"You know when we really like a boy, we get really excited," says drummer Castellano. "We all have different kinds of guys that we like. We may all think one guy is really cute and agree on it and everything, but we don't ever compete. The ones that come up to us after a show are often the really drunk guys who are like, 'Let me buy you a drink' or 'Come back to my house,' and we're not into that. A lot of them are too old or too young. My ideal guy would be the Jay character from Jay and Silent Bob, though I've never met him."

*sigh* Looks like I'll have to start taking up pot smoking and dropping a lot more F-bombs now. Sheesh, a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do.

Saturday nite ... doors open at 9 at Fitzgeralds. Can't wait

Christmastime in VA

Another Middleburg Whisper (washingtonpost.com)

Ya know, when I think of Christmas, I think of frumpy old women that bear a striking resemblense to John Goodman. Ah sarcasm ... my dearest and truest friend!

Movie Review: Slackers

This cannot possibly be a true review as I watched this movie with only half-hearted interest. Basically, I only bought it because it was cheap ($9.99 - DVD) and had Laura Prepon (That 70s Show) in it, whom I'm madly in love with (I fear for a world without redheads!). Short version of the review is thus: It Sucks. If you're sitting there saying to yourself: "I don't think I've heard of that movie" ... well, there's a reason. As a film, it has no redeeming qualities.

That aside, there are a few sidestories to note that make this not fall under the category of "Complete Waste of Time." Of course, it helps if you're doing something in the background while the movie is playing. I was reading up on some blogs & news sites online ... reading, sleeping, having sex ... all those things are suitable alternatives, though.

One such highlight: Laura Prepon's character is hilarious. She's the comedic relief, yet its a subtle type of comedic relief.

The other thing ... dunno if I can truly call it a highlight, but definitely something peculiar: A Mamie Van Doren nude scene!!! Yeah, how bizarre is that?!?!? Don't know who Mamie Van Doren is? She's a film star who made a lot of then-racy films ... in the 50s and 60s. Do the math folks ... she's 70 when they shot this film. I gotta admit, though ... she still has a nice rack for a 70 year old and with the presumed help of plastic surgery, she does not look anywhere near 70 (I was guessing 50s before looking her up on IMDB). Needless to say, its one of those movie moments you just can't believe you're seeing, even though its right there in front of your eyes. I'm sure there's emotional scars that can be derived from this, too ... but I've got enough of those.

Other than that, its a snoozer of a film.

Another Sign of the Apocolypse

Well, I won't go so far as to claim that The Donnas have sold out musically given their latest release (although the overuse of a cowbell as a musical instrument clearly hints at it), but this email I just got from their mailing list really seals the deal for selling out:

Calling all San Francisco Donnas Fans...The Donnas and Levis are giving it back to their anyone of their fans that 'Take It Off' in their home town! On Saturday, December 7th, head over to the Levis San Francisco Flagship store in Union Square (at Stockton) and try on any pair of Type 1 jeans to receive a dope Donnas sweat-band! It's one day only so don't miss out on your chance to sport a Donnas sweat-band! The Donnas continue touring with the Campfire Girls and Your Enemies and Friends and rock a few hot holiday radio shows at the end of the year. Check with http://www.thedonnas.com for the latest tour dates.

I'm sorry ... did they just say a "DOPE" Donna's sweat-band? Let's recap ... band starts off as a sorta Grrrl Punk thing, then they get better as musicians and become more of a hard rock outfit ... and now they're peddling "DOPE" merchandise?!?!?

Let's take a ride in the WayBack Machine shall we ....

There it was, the heady days of the early 90s. Bill Clinton's star was on the rise, the great national nightmare of Vanilla Ice was being erased from our collective memories, and radio still played a thing called Rock & Roll.

I had the good fortune of keeping odd hours and whilst finishing my college work, often listened to the latenight All Request show in KLOL and/or the heavy-metal stylings of Z-Rock. Given the odd hours, I often had pretty good odds of winning any call-in stuff. I managed to win a few things from both stations, and then of course, that gets your name on a list that's for sale to anyone interested.

Well, one of those interested parties was a new radio station it seems. Imagine my horror as I get a phone call, asking for me by name, asking if I'm down with the hippest, hoppingest, happening, dope, fresh tunes of the day. Said telemarketer even rattled off a few names of bands this station would be playing. I replied that I hated all those bands and that I hated him for calling me. Nevertheless, that day lives on in my memory as the day Rock & Roll died. Z-Rock was not long for the airwaves as heavy metal died its all-too-deserved death. KLOL started to mix in more and more Nirvana and weening itself off of more and more Metallica, GNR, and ... well, that was about it.

So needless to say ... I am not "DOWN" with this promotion, however innocently inspired. I am not "HIP" to the ways, nor do I consider them "DOPE." Think I'm gonna run over the next young punk I see on the sidewalk when I'm driving home now.

What US City Are You?

Stupid quiz, I know. But the irony was that the last question asks you which city you'd like to be. The nearest options that pertained to my interests were Dallas and New Orleans, neither of which I care to set foot in again. Nashville is too hokey for me. Las Vegas is too vapid for me. I opted for LA since it's the nearest option I could really identify with, plus I wouldn't be upset if the result of the quiz came back with LA as the answer. Still, kinda shocked I ended up with Dallas, though. I'll take it as a backhanded complement that at least recognizes me as a died-in-the-wool Texan.

Congratulations, you're Dallas, one of the stars of Texas.
What US city are you? Take the quiz by Girlwithagun.

It's Wednesday and ...

Well, here it is Wednesday and still no feedback from the various aggrieved parties from the T.H.E.M. cast ... that and their site still has the cast list from 10/19 up. So what gives? Surely Jenni wasn't just making crap up, was she?

New Midnight Movies @ River Oaks

Landmark - Houston

New listings for midnight movies. Definitely some I'll have to catch, including the one this Friday. On the other hand, some I'll have to pass on. I never understood the appeal of The Matrix. Be on the lookout for movie reviews of all those flicks I'll be in attendance at (as indicated by the *)

(*)The Breakfast Club · Nov 22 & 23
Dog Soldiers · Nov 29 & 30
(*)Donnie Darko · Dec 6 & 7
(*)Edward Scissorhands · Dec 13 & 14
(*)A Christmas Story · Dec 20 & 21
(*)Dr. Strangelove · Dec 27 & 28
The Matrix · Jan 3 & 4
(*)(*)Office Space · Jan 10 & 11

Yes, that means I'll be seeing Office Space twice.

River Oaks Theater is also playing It's A Wonderful Life (presumably the original, black&white version) on 12/18. Details are cut & pasted below:

Sure, you can watch it on TV, but this most beloved of Jimmy Stewart films must be seen two stories high with hundreds of others to be fully appreciated! Join us for a joyful community gathering and celebration, with special guests and prizes, courtesy of Landmark Theatres, The Houston Chronicle, KRTS 92.1 and Birra Poretti’s Restaurant. Tickets for this film event are not for sale! But you can pick them up beginning at 4:00pm the day of the show—just bring a new, unopened, unwrapped toy to the box office for a free pass for admission to the film. All toys will go directly to the Houston Chapter of Toys for Tots.

Another New Toy

Lil' FYI in case anyone gets their kicks from it, but I added a little section below the links on the right hand side to show the most recent comments. I'm still playing around with it here and there ... I need to have a link for the post it's from, but I've been confounded on getting that accomplished just yet.

Segway Power!

Amazon.com: Electronics: Segway Human Transporter -- First come, first served for delivery starting March 2003

Interesting ... Amazon is selling these babies now for $4950. Get em while their cheap! Stumbled onto this while procuring some reading material from Amazon ... got a two-fer special on the Kohn & Sacks books listed below, as well as Wesley Clark's book. Reviews will be posted ... um ... someday.

The Donnas ... The Chronicle ... WTF???

HoustonChronicle.com - Donnas promise commitment with 'Spend the Night'

The Donnas getting coverage in The Chronicle? What tha ...??? My how they've gone from being little punk rockers to miscast headbangers playing to their punk rock fans. But now this!

I'll be at the show on Saturday and believe you me, these shows are always a blast. The last CD, which I have neglected to do a proper review of still, is by far their best work. The sales have even gotten them to the top of Billboard's Heatseeker chart on new artist sales (nevermind that its their 5th release). The band is ready for a breakout and I'm really curious to see if there's any new faces at Fitzgeralds due to this popularity.

The two sides of this popularity are as old as the ... well, as old as me to put it mildly ... and maybe older. On the one hand, its nice to see something that you've rooted for during the obscure period get that bright shining light of fame that you know they really wanted all along. Part of me hopes they a platinum album by the time its all said and done. But on the other hand, there will be the moderating forces that push such a band into the blandness of music lore. And for a band with as much edge to their music as these chicks, one hopes that never happens. Heck, they have yet to do a ballad ... but you know they will one of these days (I'm not counting their cover of REO Speedwagon's Keep On Loving You ... it was only on a soundtrack and never performed on tour). Much like Don't Speak for No Doubt, you know it's going to be a smash hit. Then they'll feel compelled to repeat that success. I've got Michael Bolton's heavy metal CDs to prove precisely how that sort of thing happens in case anyone doubts me.

Archos Rules

Here's where it gets good ... just got my Archos 5GB MP3 player via Uber whilst at Rocky. Major kudos to Uber for having the foresite to procure one on the hunch that I'd be desiring of one as we've been discussing a few such toys over the last few months. This one, to be sure, is not as powerful as the 20GB or even the 10GB version, as either would be suitable for storing the complete collection of my MP3s, but 5MB is nothing to sneeze at and the price was right, courtesy of Fry's and the fact that Archos is discontinuing the 5MB version.

This little baby suits my needs to a T ... well, maybe a lower case t ... but I can always add on another hard drive if I want to. There's all sorts of adaptors for this thing. Right now, I'm still giddy over just having a single repository for my A-list of MP3s. No more burning a CD ... no more making sure I use a CDRW to save a nickel here and there. Now, its just upload em, sort em out by directories, and whammo.

I'm presently in the midst of sorting all the stuff I've uploaded into some genre directories. I normally need something heavy and fast-paced to get me to work. I can listen to pretty much anything at work since I can't crank the speakers ... its all background noise anyway. And on the way home, I like to have the option to either mellow out, or bang my head all the way home. I can even sort out a few oddball directories for particular moods. Likely will have to put all my Jason & the Scorchers in one directory, make another directory of the alt-country stuff, and then the pure country stuff. Still debating how to sort out the 70s stuff ... lump it all together since it gives me a certain vibe, or mix it in with the soft crap. I dunno ... this thing is so cool.

Simpsons Screed on Hold

Just a note since I threatened to do this over the weekend and have clearly failed, I wanted to note that my dissertation on how The Simpsons are nothing more than a representation of the liberal media bias is on hold ... hopefully it'll happen next weekend. There's some reasons for this ... primarily yours truly getting distracted with a few new things. One, I'll post about in a minute ... the other was getting some cool hockey stuff from a friend unloading a ton of hockey merchandise. I managed to pick up two new jerseys, the video recapping the Houston Aeros 1999 IHL Championship, and a few other trinkets ... all for an all-too-reasonable price.

Rocky, Rocky, Wherefore art thou?

Introductory Note: The normal tone of past reviews has always been with a touch of humor. To wit, not everyone gets the same types of humor, and sadly, there are those humorless souls that it doesn't even register with in any way, shape, or form. After the load of B.S. I got at the last show from one such cast director, I'll keep this rant serious in nature since there's a few things I want to get to the bottom of.

Background: So there I am at yet another installment of what passes for Rocky Horror these days. Jenni and Charles have both pretty much made their cases to me in one fashion or another that audience member input, feedback, and whatnot is not appreciated by the T.H.E.M. cast, as represented by their reaction to both an email requesting an updated cast list as well as a reply that only individuals who perform are able to comment meaningfully on a Rocky Horror performance. Naturally, I disagree very strongly with those responses, but it pales in comparison to what is put forth after the show this weekend: that I have driven off something like 7 or 8 cast members singlehandedly.

The Here and Now: So here's the deal ... I obviously think that last point is a load of pure crap. Among the reasons for cast members allegedly "quitting" the cast are that they wish to stay with a friend or that they have no ride. I'm pretty sure my alleged omnipotent powers fall far short of being able to accomplish that. So here's what I'm offering the cast members whom Jenni claims that I have driven off: Send me an email. Yep, that's it ... an email. Let me know how I have wronged you and let's see if we can't make some heads or tails of this. You can let me know if you'd rather have said email be private, or that you don't mind it being reprinted either by full attribution or even on a background basis. Obviously, I'm looking for something a little more mature than what cast directors have put forth with their ever-so-clever "kiss my ass" and "fuck off." Be an adult, let me know what issue you have with anything posted, let's see if there's not some misunderstanding that can't be cleared up. So there you have it Ben, Jackie, Jessica, Nelson, Myke, and whoever else I'm accused of running out of the cast. I look forward to hearing from everyone.

Mad Take on the Onion

Untitled Document

I put forth to you the following suggestion: The above link represents the implosion of ideas in the world. When one parody rag parodies another, I'd say we're all done with our work here and its time to board the spaceship for another planet to wreck.

Googleshare ... an idea who's time has come

raelity bytes

Interesting concept found via BoingBoing. Basic idea:

Search Google for a specific word, and get back the total number of results. Then you search that set for someone's name. Divide the second number by the first, and you get a percentage that shows you how much the person "owns" the word. Call it semantic mindshare. Or lexical penetration. Or whatever.

Here's my results:
gregsopinion - 13.05%
instigatoralley - 1.23%
crimedonkey - 0.36% - I really need to develop that site

Pretty nifty I thought.

A Kick in the Sorcerer's Stones

Well, it's here. The second installment in the Harry Potter septology. Bet you didn't know it is a septology, did you? Well, Mr. Fancy Pants, it is. And this blog entry will probably make Greg's head explode, which is fine by me. But I just wanted to say that I really like the Harry Potter series. I have the books and the first movie. I'm going to see the Chamber of Secrets tonight. And I can't wait for the next book to come out in mid 2003. So, let's blow a little bit of server space by bringing you up to date on the Harry Potter series:

Harry is a young boy whose mother and father, who were both wizards, were killed by this evil wizard named Voldemort. Voldemort tried to kill Harry when he was a baby, the spell backfired and Harry survived with a little lightning bolt shaped scar on his head. Harry is sent to live with his aunt and uncle, who hate magic and don't tell Harry about his origins. On his 11th birthday, he is told about his heritage and taken to Hogwart's School of Witchcraft & Wizardry. Thus begins the story. The first part covered Harry's first year at Hogwarts, as he learned a lot of basic skills used by wizards. The first movie was mainly an introduction to Hogwarts and most of the cast of characters who are going to be carried throughout the series. Harry defeats the bad guy in the end (surprise surprise), and is sent home for summer break. The movie ended.

So now it's time for the second installment. Harry's a year older, has some friends, and is returning to Hogwarts. So why am I going to spend money on this movie? Because it's a fun, simple story. Some people dislike the Harry Potter books because they "promote witchcraft". I say that's pure bullshit. Any story that is fairly nonviolent, tells that a goodhearted character usually gets what he so richly deserves, and that inherently evil people get what is coming to them is OK in my book. These are not small books that kids are reading. The last one measured over 700 pages. And still kids swarmed out to read it. I say, good for them. I had Choose-Your-Own-Adventure and Goosebumps when growing up, and I'm sure folks like Greg and Jim had some sort of parchment or scrolls they could borrow from the village elder in their day. Whatever gets a kid to read (well, aside from the Anarchist's Cookbook) is OK in my book.

Songs I Cannot Get Out of My Head Today

Gay Flies In Heat

Yahoo! News - Scientists Find Warmth May Make Some Flies Gay

I don't even know what to think about this. I'm quite relieved that the temperature outside is getting a little cool, though. Can't say my experience backs this up ... last time my AC went out, I was still turned on while watching Gilmore Girls.

What Is It About Rocky?

So there I was at the show last week, as they wrapped up the performance, one of the three cast directors/people in charge does the final shoutouts for the cast roll call at the end of the movie, and even encourages everyone in the audience to check out the website. On top of all that, I add a link to it on my site ... why not, right? One problem ... they hadn't updated the cast list since 10/19 and here it is 11/15. So I fire off a little ditty of an email to said cast director:

Jenni

Hey, WTF???? Your site still has the cast list for 10/19 after you beckoned everyone to check it out. And Myke's been getting way too much run considering how little talent he's got. I mean, come one(sp) ... we all know who the real draw is. How 'bout a few photos from after July while we're at it???

Get crackin there ... you don't want to be one of those ghost sites that people point to and make fun of do you?

Love,
Greg

Sure, its full of that hard-edged wit and whatnot that masks a deep underlying bitterness. But the central point here is this: if you're gonna tell people to check your website, at least have the decency to update it.

Here's the lovely little retort I get back ...

I'm sorry the site hasn't been updated to your liking. The site is slowly being updated the past 3 weeks pictures have already been updated at a rate of one week per day the only thing lacking is an update on the photo page itself to link all of it together. I haven't had time recently since I work 3 jobs and am going to school full time so honestly Greg kiss my ass. And as for Myke playing he happens to beaudiencehe audicence favorites and I get comments aboutevery weekst everyweek either at the show or thru e-mail. I'm sorry if your opinion don't hold much weight with me. Actually no I'm not. However if you would like to be somewhere where folks actually care about your opinion drive to Wconcerned As far as I am concered you have no weight on what is done in this cast. You are not a cast member nor one of the three people in charge at any level. If you don't like the show I would strongly suggest you take your money and your presence elsewhere.

Jenni

Real nice, huh? And I thought I was bitter. You can all find this loveliness at River Oaks Theater every Saturday at midnight. I'm still shaking my head at how some people can totally grasp the concept of this site while other can't.

Dennis Quaid in the news

Dennis Quaid's Second Reel: The Comeback

I put this up here for no other reason than the fact that Dennis Quaid is a University of Houston grad, and as a proud alum, I have a blind right to root on my Coogs through good and bad times alike ... or in this case, in coke addictions or major movie roles alike. I'm still looking for a nice writeup on Randy Quaid and the social significane of his role as Cousin Eddie.

Jacko's Melting

WTF????

Simpsons Go Risque ... moreso

The Sun Newspaper Online - UK's biggest selling newspaper

HA! How's this for a conservative tv show? Marge gets a boob job this season. Yeah, I think we're all one step closer to Marge having a partial birth abortion performed next. Well, ok, that may never happen (unless ....) but Marge does at least expose herself to Springfield this season, and that's a little out there. 'Cept for maybe the fact they already had an episode where Marge & Homer tried making love in public and ended up naked in a packed football stadium. This time around, Marge has enormous knockers, though ... so I guess that's different. I just hope they don't mix in a storyline about how Marge develops a gambling addiction or the Simpsons get another horse or elephant, or ... hell, I dunno. 5:00 cannot get here fast enough by my book.

One Obligatory J.Lo post

I swore I'd never post about entertainers that I just loathe, but this post by Oliver Willis made me change my thinking. For some reason, I just can't pass this one up. Watch the video and commence rolling in laughter.

Movie Review: Comedian

Going into this movie, I knew it was going to be a little different. Its sortofa documentary, but nowhere nearly as organized as one. I knew it had Jerry Seifeld, so it had to have something funny going for it. Basically, the idea is that it kinda tagged along and captured a behind-the-scenes look at comedians, developing their craft, hitting the hustings, and doing everything that they do.

The movie delivers a pretty insightful look by the time its all said and done. The movie is definitely not for everyone, as its a pretty specialized glance into the craft of developing comedy. The film looks at this from the vantage point of two comedians: Jerry Seinfeld and Orny Adams.

Seinfeld, as we all should be aware, has had more than his 15 minutes of fame. Having had a long run as a successful standup comic, a highly rated sitcom that led to every other comic getting a sitcom, and even a nice post-sitcom run as a high-volume comic filling large venues. Everytime I tell myself I've had my fill of Seinfeld, he continues to come up with something that holds my interest and this movie offers a great glimpse into his thought process. The movie explores Seinfeld as he tries to reinvent his artform. Tossing out his old material, he begins anew, hitting the NYC circuit doing 5-minute walkons. As he continues, he goes on to do 15 minute segments, and then showcasing himself. The process for this is really unique and something not explored in enough detail. Basically, comedians are able to walk into a club, see if there's time for a performance and if they can swing their way onto the stage for a segment. There's usually a line of comedians waiting for a 5 minute opening to go out. One really has to wonder if Seinfeld has ever heard the word "No" when he takes this approach.

There are times when your compelled to feel sorry for Seinfeld as he struggles to come up with new material, or he whines about the difficulties inherit in the business. Knowing that he's got a ton of dough socked away really negates that desire. Its also tough to feel sorry for a guy that hops aboard a private jet to make a show in Cleveland or LA. But seeing him in action is always a thrill. He's still one of the best, if not THE best. Still, knowing that he's trying to rely on new material to keep himself relevant to a newer and younger crowd is something to appreciate. The movie tracks the beginning of this quest to Jerry's return to perform on Late Night, and eventually, on the big stage. His is a happy ending.

Orny Adams is the contrast we see in the movie and there's not really an ending to Adams' story. Adams is the up-and-coming comedian who seems to try to hard, think too much of himself, and take this business way too seriously. The film shows him going through all his written work: the files of old jokes, the catalogs of personal journals, the logs of jokes, etc, etc, etc. One really can't imagine a comic going through this much trouble, yet there it is, up on the big screen for all to see.

Orny gets a few big breaks. One is getting invited to a major showcase in Montreal, the other is getting signed on with the legendary George Shapiro. Don't know who George Shapiro is? Well, if its funny, and it came out of New York, chances are you're familiar with his clients. Danny DeVito played Shapiro in the movie Man on the Moon. Shapiro was Andy Kaufman's agent, Carl Reiner's agent ... and Jerry Seinfeld's agent. Adams is also very difficult to really develop a rooting interest for. He comes across as arrogant, a little too eager, and maybe not in the business for the right reasons. One of the better moments of the movie is a conversation between Adams and Seinfeld, discussing how Adams feels a sense of urgency to succeed because he sees his friends doing well, starting families, driving nice cars, etc. Seinfeld pretty much deflects this with a little Socratic method: "What else is it that you'd rather be doing? Why does it matter what your friends are doing?" and so on. He then regales Adams with an antecdote of the Glen Miller Orchestra making their way to a concert via plance. They can't get to the airport due to the snow, so they land in a field, and literally march their way to the hall a few miles away. Along the way, they come across a home, peek in the windows and see a nice family sitting down to a huge meal, with the entire family in the cozy comfort that contrasts to their own muddied uniforms that they are having to wear as they march. One band member looks to the other and asks: How can they live like that? The message imparted to all is that to desire a life as a comedian requires a somewhat misplaced sense of priorities. All in all, Adams seems to take it all in, but very begrudgingly.

The moment when Adams comes across as a little out of tune, to me, is when he gets what seems to be a lecture by a fellow comic in the presence of his agent, George Shapiro. Its not a berating lecture, but the kind of speech you might get from an experienced veteran who knows the ropes, sees what you've got and runs down a few things that need to be addressed in order to move up the ladder. Its not really scathing, and given the images the audience gets to see, it comes across as pretty accurate. Shapiro even consoles Adams by saying there's nothing he wouldn't argue with in that assessment. Still, not only is Adams a little put off by what he takes as an insult, he has the audacity to question the value of Steven Wright as a comedian. The immediate retort by his protagonist is that "he's a legend." Adams keeps asking "And where is Steven Wright today?" To this old-timer who recalls Stephen Wright's early work, this smacks of heresy that Adams cannot appreciate the history of his craft enough to know who Steven Wright is.

As if to contrast with this lack of appreciation, one of the highlights of the film is a short meeting of the giants of comedy: Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Cosby. All in all, it seems as if Seinfeld is trying to capture what Cosby himself has achieved. Cosby has basically mastered the artform of keeping his material fresh and keeps a standard routine of performances to develop his work. Jerry flies to Newark to see a Cosby show and is stunned that he works two shows a night, both over 2 hours, uninterrupted. It seems a lot for even Seinfeld to take in, having earlier expressed that to him, comedy is not a 20 minute routine, that its an hour-fifteen. One needs to establish the crowd, build continuity and work your way to a climax to end the show. Upon meeting with Chris Rock and hearing more about Cosby's work, Seinfeld seems as if he's finally found something to challenge him.

The ultimate contrast in the movie is in how they depict the two performers' appearance on The Late Show. Adams' appearance is first, and being single, is the only one in his dressing room. The film depicts the loneliness of the scene and for his performance, shoots the TV in the dressing room from a distance to depict how relatively minor the event it. By contrast, Seinfeld's performance is shown full screen, his wife and kid are in tow, as well as an assistant. Its a fuller entourage and you get a different set of pressures that Seinfeld is processing. This is the tipoff that the movie is not some sort of low budget Blair Witch for Comedians. There's a lot going on in the way the film shoots sequences, plays off the experience of Seinfeld vs Adams, and how it gets its message out. In that regard, the film is most impressive.

The fact that a film ... any film ... can impart any successful message while showing Colin Quinn for as long as they do in this movie amazes me. He just hits me as annoying. Yet, much of the better conversation in the movie is between Seinfeld and Quinn. If you're at all interested in what goes on behind the scenes in becoming a comedian, this movie is must seeing. I went in just as a fan of the comedic arts, not knowing what I would take from it, and enjoyed it immensely. Its odd to enjoy a movie as much as I enjoyed this, all the while knowing that not everyone is going to really appreciate it for what it is. Don't go if you just think you're going to see a lot of Jerry Seinfeld funny moments. The laughs are actually few and far between. But there's no shortage of things to love about this unfunny movie about comedians.

Reason #1 for Howard Stern to Die a Quick Death

Salon.com People | Mouthing off

Man, I take a few weeks to hunker down on election news and I miss all the big news. This is now a week old, and probably older from some other source, but Howard Stern plans on thrashing one of my alltime favorite movies: Rock & Roll High School. Credited for popularizing The Ramones (somewhat), the movie is a classic and the fact that it was done by Roger Corman (who ironically wanted to do a movie called Disco High instead of this) means that it should be untouchable. I mean sure, they re-did The Great Texas Dynamite Chase, but they at least had the good sense to call it something else (Thelma & Louise) and not try pass it off as a remake.

Sadly, Stern also plans on doing a remake of Porky's and that will probably garner the most press right there. I don't give a flip about a Porky's remake. I might go see it just to see if it's done even more lewdly than the original. At least this idea has potential. But RRHS will not have The Ramones ... 2 of the members are dead. Stern has mentioned plans to help break out some unknown band, which I think would be a surefire flop right there. Unless maybe they had The Donnas play the role. Hmmmm ... time to re-open my mind on this idea.

Rollin, Rollin, Rollin ... Blogroll!!!

Making a few changes to the links on the right ... just in case anyone out there besides myself has developed a reliance upon them. Gone are the candidate site links and added are some new blog links. Of note, is Raising Hell. Nothing on that site is really targeted to an interest of mine, but the site is about the single best looking blog on the internet and one of these days, I will rip it off immensely.

Had to demote Alex Whitlock's site to my secondary list as he continues his leave of blogging for a month. His novel better be damn good. Any and all recommendations are welcome, so long as they have at least a little originality. The last thing I need to read is the zillionth blog trying to argue for or against Bellisle, War, Libertariansism, Scientology, or promoting any orthodox belief system. A little originality never killed anyone and the ablity to think for oneself is always preferred. That reminds me ... am I the only one to ever blog about the virtues of Nick Gilder's "Hot Child In The City"? If so ... yay me.

UPDATE: Also added a "Best Of..." category for those better posts I feel warrant inclusion. I'm slowly making my way to classifying a few posts under that category. Also changing the archive pages to show the snazzy banner as well as comment links.

Overdue Musical Rewards

I recall fondly when I was a young pup of a lad and bugged the holy crap out of my parents for a stereo and then record albums. My first albums were Bonnie Tyler's "Its A Heartache" and Nick Gilder's "City Nights." Shows ya what was hot on the radio at the time: Its a Heartache and Hot Child in the City obviously hit a chord with me. When I was in the midst of rounding out my CD collection, I had no problem locating a copy of the Bonnie Tyler release, but for reasons unbeknownst to me, City Nights never warranted a CD re-release ... till now. EMI Columbia have announced plans to release the part B of my musical roots on CD. At long last, I can get those tunes omitted erroneously from the Greatest Hits CD. When I first discovered the new age of email, I first set out to get in touch with someone who could update me on Nick's whereabouts. I had an email addy for what appeared to be the great Nick himself, and it turned out to be him, indeed. Actually got a reply from him, too. That still ranks as one of the coolest things I've ever had happen. He's still hitting the circuit up in Canada, so little chance I'll ever get to see that one last Nick Gilder show ... but when I get to hear my fave song back in the day (21st Century), I'll be on cloud nine for a brief while. Side A of that album was a classic for me ... where's the fast forward button for my calendar?

MP3.com tunes
Nick's site ... under construction at press time.

The Deterioration of Rocky Continues

I'll keep this short ... I just cannot erase the memories of this show from my mind fast enough. No Jackie, Nelson plays 3 roles ... none well, a new Rocky who wasn't all that great, and ... oh well, who needs more. The only positive I can put in here is that the new Columbia was pretty decent. After that ... not a whole lot. A little enthusiasm whilst performing could just possibly go a long long way. The dyslexic punk who sat behind me doing call lines that he obviously forgot both the wording to and the timing for during the entire show should be publicaly flogged.

Alas ... Entertainment Options

OK, so I was a slug Friday night and didn't make it out to see Clockwork Orange, so hence, no movie review. I did just catch the trailer for Friday After Next and have that to look forward to on November 22nd. Perfect timing since the 23rd is The Donnas concert at Fitzgerald's. Now, that's one heck of a weekend.

The Jackie Files

Been a slow news day and I'm kinda unwinding after all the election fun-ness. So just to get myself geared up for Rocky, I thought I'd make my little photo file for the esteemed Jackie of T.H.E.M. fame. She's the hot one in the glasses for those not familiar. To be fair, Uber has not done enough to really capture the brilliance and artistry, but this'll hold me over.

The Worst Top 100 EVER

BBC NEWS | Entertainment | Music | The top 100 number one singles

Anytime you see a list of top whatever songs and one of them is "Uptown Girl" by Billy Joel ... you know its crap. "Under Pressure" at #10 also irks me to no end.

Like Clockwork

Now playing for two nights only at Landmark River Oaks ...

(what the hell, I got nothing better to do)

Movie Review: AutoFocus

Ah, at long last, I make it out to see the Bob Crane story. To those who aren't well versed in this, Bob Crane was, of course, the "Hogan" in Hogan's Heros, a late 60s sitcom based on a German WW2 POW camp. I dunno about you, but when I think WW2 POW camps, I just double over in laughter ... doesn't everyone? Yeah, well, don't worry, this movie really kinda skims over that part. Seems Crane was an avid photo nut and with the influx of new video equipment that his friend John Carpenter provide, hilarity ensues. Carpenter enters the scene as a hustling video equipment salesperson for Sony. Crane is played very well by Greg Kinnear. Carpenter is played by Willem Dafoe. The movie focuses (pardon the pun) on the duos sexscapades for about a solid 75% of the flick.

To be sure, this movie is not for everyone. Guess that's why it was playing in Landmark River Oaks, rather than AMC. Its a very odd movie. The one part where I think every red-blooded male could get down with, though, was in the 5 minute soliloquoy about Crane's fascination with boobies. Cinematic brilliance if there ever was such. Anyways, jist of the movie is that the pre-Hogan Crane goes from a staid, church-going family man just looking for a followup to his run on Donna Reed. With his ascent to the role of Colonel Hogan, he suddenly is immersed in a life of hangers-on (Carpnter) as well as a bevy of attentive women, willing to throw themselves at Crane. Note to self: I need a sitcom gig!

In the midst of all this, Crane falls apart from his first wife, marries a costar on the show after its cancellation, and sinks further and further into his shallow pool of indulgence. Once rumors of Crane's lifestyle catch up around Hollywood, he's relegated to performing in dinner theaters and a lead role in that hit Disney movie: Super Dad. Kudos to the moviemakers for including a reference to Crane's involvement in one of the alltime greatest movies (albeit in a minor cameo): Gus. Yeah, you remember ... the horse that could kick feild goals! Man, where's the sequel to that?!?!?! Heck, that chimp from MVP even got a sequel. Gus is far more deserving.

Anyways, I digress. Bottom line ... Crane's career sinks faster than a Houston sidewalk during a drought. Its not a pretty sight to behold as Crane still clamors for his easy pickings of females. What is totally enthralling to me is the basic history lesson of the technology that runs parallel to the story. The fascination that begins this quest is a new technology called the VTR: video tape recorder. It goes into the realm of color television shortly thereafter, in which Carpenter loses his cushy Sony job due to a major problem: he's colorblind. Just as the ugly radio people lost work with the advent of television, so did the colorblind once color technology became available. Seeing Carp hand Crane a jumbo videocassette the size of the Old English Dictionary almost had me rolling in the aisles. Its so simple to look back and laugh at what was once considered cutting edge in our modern quest for newer and smaller technology. This movie accomplishes this almost as an afterthought, but if you pay attention, its just hilarious. Seeing the hideous video quality of the early VTRs is also a laugh riot, as is seeing Carp's indignation at the thought that he would lose his babe magnet Crane over his paranoia that he would buy a Betacam and not have a reliance on Carp's equipment. I'm telling ya ... even if your just a tech geek and don't really give a rats behind about all the sex and ego that the movie is really about, this aspect of the movie will be well worth the price.

The one downside of the entire movie for me was one scene in which Carp and Crane develop a rift in their relationship. Mind you, they go through a lot. Carp develops a tendency of lining up the women for Crane, and Crane is basically there as a calling card that works magic for both parties. Crane's ego shows up in places where he dictates that he wants the woman Carp has had his eye on, much to Carp's consternation. But what really drives a wedge in this relationship is when Carp cops a feel on Crane's ass during an orgy. Crane freaks and ditches Carp for a fair amount of time. The sick part of it for me is watching Crane try and discern from the shoddy film what's going on. The film of that era basically looks like moving shadows, yet when you learn what you are looking at is really Willem Dafoe fingering Greg Kinnear, its enough to make you hurl your junior mints. The fact that the tape freezes on that scene is even more repulsive.

Nevertheless, the quality of the sex scenes is so-so, obviously aiming for quantity over quality. The real story is seeing the hubris and ego of Hollywood actors wonder why karma ever caught up to them. Its a simple story when you boil it down to its essentials. Yet in watching Crane slide further and further down the slippery slope that he's set for himself, your just about ready to applaud when a shadowy figure breaks in to bash his head in. Its a scene which is shown in a fair amount of detail, and even though I'm totally down with gore (as in scary stuff, this isn't a political post), this kinda hits you outta the blue, and even I was sorta staring at an innocuous corner of the screen to avoid soaking up the details. Hearing Kinnear's voiceover as Crane after he's died basically sums up the shallowness of the entire movie. When he closes with "A guys' just gotta have fun" and your seeing a vantage point that mimics his floating spirit looking back on his bloody corpse, its enough to almost make you laugh. There's obviously a sense of morbidity in this movie.

All in all, I liked this movie a lot more than I thought I would. Kinnear was great, but Dafoe always freaks me out no matter what role he plays. I'm guessing the next chance to see the movie is going to be on DVD, so either shell out the dough and snap up a copy or add it to your Netflix list once it comes out. I might recommend watching a few reruns of Hogans Heros as well as the first Ilsa movie (the one where they filmed it on the HH lot while nobody was guarding it) just for a little better context. Seeing the entire cast of HH recreated is kinda cool in this movie, too. So whether its for the 5 minute dissertation on breasts or the funny sidestory on video technology, check it out.

D'Oh Brother!

Deroy Murdock on The Simpsons on National Review Online

Interesting peice to continue the myth that The Simpsons is a conservative tv show after all. One of these days when I'm feeling a major rant coming on, I'm gonna sit down and type out how the show is, in fact, yet another symbol of the liberal media bias ... just to mess with people's heads.

Google-jacking continued

October 
# Hits Search String 
1 6 7.32% 2002 election predictions 
2 4 4.88% bubba ho-tep 
3 2 2.44% sununu stands on corporate fraud 
4 2 2.44% tom golisano pics 
5 1 1.22% 2002 election prediction 
6 1 1.22% abbott watson latest october polls 
7 1 1.22% adminitration support in fort worth texas 
8 1 1.22% allard colorado senate election blog 
9 1 1.22% anti beavis and butthead survey 
10 1 1.22% band tshirt 
11 1 1.22% beavis and butthead history dvd reason cancelled 
12 1 1.22% bechirp or antagonizer or underpitch or 
           semibleached or botryop (WTF???)
13 1 1.22% bowling for columbine houston texas 
14 1 1.22% bruce campbell houston bubba ho-tep 
15 1 1.22% bush speech 10/7/02 
16 1 1.22% bush speech iraq 10/7/02 
17 1 1.22% bush vs mcbride polls 
18 1 1.22% cherone insults van halen 
           (no clue how this one got here)
19 1 1.22% clyde drexler river oaks 
20 1 1.22% corey feldman tshirts 

November
# Hits Search String 
1 2 6.45% rocky horror picture show review 
2 2 6.45% scott hochberg dionne 
3 1 3.23% african reaction to wellstone death (???)
4 1 3.23% because i'm blonde julie (one-kick-a$% tune!)
5 1 3.23% bowling for columbine lafayette 
6 1 3.23% bowling for columbine weekly standard 
7 1 3.23% coach hatfield gays 
8 1 3.23% david klingler pics 
9 1 3.23% drop shadow photoshop 6 how-to 
10 1 3.23% environmental integrity project 
11 1 3.23% gender bender halloween 
12 1 3.23% gilmore girls nudes 
           (guess which one I wish I had more info on.)
13 1 3.23% hatfield football sexual rice ken 
14 1 3.23% how many seats does florida have
           in the u.s. house of represent 
15 1 3.23% judge margaret mirabel 
16 1 3.23% kathy whitmire's history 
17 1 3.23% lee hogan houston mayor 
          (apparently someone is trying to figure out the 
          same thing I am ... who the hell is this guy?)
18 1 3.23% magenta bares all 
19 1 3.23% mike andrews of fark 
20 1 3.23% mondale poll 

Belated Rocky Review: Greg's Birthday Show

Well, no time like the present to recap something that happened Saturday night. As it was, I pretty much had a full schedule after the show, as I had to get ready to leave for San Antonio after the post-show dinner at Dixie's. So sue me ....

In this week's episode, our hero travels all the way to freakin Webster. I had a little difficulty finding the new place. Its a lot better area, in and of itself, than Southpoint. The theater itself seems much newer than Southpoint. The only real qualm I have about the theater itself is that it also seems to have had less maintenence done on it during its tenure. Finding a seat that wasn't broken seemed like a chore. The angle of the floor also takes a lot of getting used to.

Now, title aside, this was not truly "a birthday show." It just happened to fall ON my birthday. I did try and locate a cake to give to the cast for the dinner scene, but as I was doing all my grocery shopping for the show at the last minute, I had limited options. So no cake. I arrive at the theater to be greeted with The Great Kassi out front. To no avail, she was not playing. After spending a little while trying to get her to pull a Tanya Harding on someone, she left with David anyways. David also stopped by to have a few embarrassing pics made with him glomming on me. If I feel up to it, I'll scan em in, but I make no promises. I hit the show with a full assortment of rice, toilet paper, toast, sparklers, and everyone's favorite: hot dogs.

The show itself: not bad. It was a pretty solid lineup, complete with a newbie at Columbia. Got no name, but whoever Jim's friend was, sheLindsay did a bangup job (complete with flashing the audience). The rest of the cast was as follows: